Icaruss

This is cute. And of course she is an aspiring author. I was too. The same way I was an aspiring firefighter and police officer. The same way I was ...

This I loved. This is great. I like that the character doesn't want to be charitable, I like the fact that you can make something which by definition shouldn't be ...

This was amusing. I've done pure dialogue stuff, too. What you got to try and do is keep the conversational tone, but at the same time giving as much information ...

I know ranting is technically non-fiction work, but this type of thing would be more at home in your blog... or in your diary. Not that I find the things ...

Eh... It was good. I'm not too much of a fun of these stories unless they've got more going on than the actual romance, but this was good. Even if ...

Well, I don't understand what's so difficult to get. He's eating and remembering things. It's not nonsensical. Doesn't mean it isn't kind of a bore. When you do things like ...

It read like something you would write in an English assignment, or your journal. It was just stale narration. Boring. And... John straightens as he tries to gather himself, puts ...

Ahem. OK, first of all, before going into this deep, could I please, please urge you not to use CAPS when people are shouting. Ever. I mean, yes. She must ...

I can't believe GriffinKeeper was the first one who said it. This is a baaaad story. Wait. He... talked about bad writing conditions... OK. Then I'm probably the first one ...

The dialogue is mildly funny, but you don't totally dominate the "awkward situation" scene entirely. Yes. I just said "awkward situation" as if its some kind of writing genre, but ...

That was really good. No, seriously, that was amazing. Your rythm, and your choice of language just help the reader get into the feelings you try -or at least I ...

It's a nice piece of writing. Nothing extremely good, but it's nice, and it has potential. BUT: By sheer misfortune, I had been caught in a traffic jam for the ...

Good job. Great personal piece. Good use of the metaphors... beautifully written. Like the other member said, it's very poetic. Too bad I find those kinds of things boring. But ...

That was really good. A good prologue for a book, gets you to know what the kinds of characters are they, what they can do. It also builds up interest. ...

Yes. I can tell you were twelve. Look, I don't want to sound smart, or anything... I mean, let's face it, I'm fourteen... but really. The story sucks. It's the ...