Sorry...taking this off...
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Hey, thanx for the nice comments! I'm glad people liked it. And yes, it is something I experienced, well not exactly, in my case, the guy didn't die. This was just a way of letting out my feelings.
I thought it was really good.

Your description of things was done very well.
It is like you experienced it yourself.
It felt like it could just grab your emotions and pull you into it.
Well keep it up.
hey, thank you for all the nice comments...i'm suprised to see anyone liked it, since i've started writing after a BIG gap of 2-3 years..and yeah...as to answer your question...the guy in the story died...anyway...thanx once again
hey, thank you for all the nice comments...i'm suprised to see anyone liked it, since i've started writing after a BIG gap of 2-3 years..and yeah...as to answer your question...the guy in the story died...anyway...thanx once again
There is one thing that confuses me... did he die? or leave?
wow, that's really nice!!! Very poetic, but not as tho it's a poem, if you know what I mean
lol...great job 
Good job. Great personal piece. Good use of the metaphors... beautifully written. Like the other member said, it's very poetic.
Too bad I find those kinds of things boring.
But don't feel offended, I'm weird. I mean, it's great. You write wonderfully... but... I just... find that kind of writing unlikeable. Doesn't really appeal me.
Anyways, good job.
Wow, that was really good!! It flowed nicely together. But I would like to know how they spilt up, but I s'pose it doesn't matter if you can write like that.
[Welcome to YWS by the way.] Wow... This was very beautiful. I liked the metaphors a lot. You can really describe things elegantly. This flowed so well, too, like a poem, except... not. Anyways, nice piece.