Horisun

I really liked your story (and my brother) but I just thought of making your story a little longer. Also, I feel like it jumped in time between paragraph two ...

Hi! It's Horisun, (And my brother) Here for a review! This will be quick because honestly, this poem is really good! The only thing I feel could be changed is ...

Oh, wow... I was wondering what the spirit was talking about in the past few chapters... But I didn't suspect this. Henrik might've killed... I'm letting that sink in. Gosh. ...

Hahahaha! This is hilarious! I accidently read chapter ten first, and I was so confused. Now everything makes sense, and for some odd reason, I find it funny that Luke ...

Nice chapter! I said this in my review for the last chapter, but I read this one first, and was so confused. But now that I'm rereading it again, it ...

Great chapter! I like how you're expanding your characters, and I can't wait to see how this all comes into play later. Although, there are a couple things I'd like ...

This is an awesome poem! It's real good! There wasn't much that I think could be changed, other than in the first three sentences, you repeat, "I don't understand" I ...

I really enjoyed this chapter, like all your other chapters! However, like you said, it is a little confusing. But you already said that. Also, I can't help but feel ...

Conrad! Oh my goodness, oh my oh my oh my. I LOVE THIS SERIES!!! I cannot wait until the next chapter! The only thing that I think could be tweaked ...

I liked this, it's very uplifting, I feel. Honestly, I think the only critique I can give on this piece is that I think the ending line could be improved, ...

This was good, I really enjoyed it. There were a few things that I think could've been tweaked here or there, such as how they met, bumping into each other ...

This was a good chapter. There wasn't too much I didn't like, however, there were a few paragraphs that didn't flow that well to me. For example, the paragraph where ...

Hacking... Hacking a diary... How do you do that? I wanna do that so I can read my brothers diary! Just kidding! He doesn't have a diary. This chapter was ...

I loved this! Like, a lot! It's such a sweet, sad and well worded poem. I was envisioning every word. I only wish that there was a little more description ...

Alrighty, this seems interesting. I think that it's good, however, there were a few grammar errors. You forgot to uppercase "as most mortals do." And "what do you mortals want ...