HopelessAbandon

Hi! Just a quick review... I was extremely confused reading this. I read chapter one, and then this one... but I still am not quite sure who all these people ...

Hi! Here for a review :) "What?" She cried. "That's whisky." "And?" She said stumbling. Mel looked at the half empty bottle. "3 - 2 - 1..." She muttered. Wait, ...

Hi! Here for a quick review! Septonians wouldn’t kill each other. It was forbidden and usually the guilt would overwhelm them if they killed another Septonian. In my opinion, this ...

Hi! Here for a review... First off, I was a little confused if this was a story or not, or if it was a script? Because it seems to be ...

Hi! Here for a quick review! are already waterlogged enough to feel reminiscent of slogging through a river. His boots miss walking through a river? Or they are walking through ...

Hi! Here for a review! So... I was a bit confused when I started reading this. I didn't understand who the characters were and what they were doing, why they ...

Hi! Here for a review! I remember her perfectly beautiful face You switch to present tense here, when you had been previously using past tense. I would lose the hottest ...

Hi! Here for a quick review! “Hello, Elizabeth and how have you been?” This would sound better if it read, "Hello Elizabeth, and how have you been?" picking up a ...

HI! Okay, so now to the review. First off, Bro, seriously, your names are awesome. XD ten minutes but whatever.” I dunno, to me, it would sound better with a ...

Hi! You asked me for a review a while ago, I'm sorry its taken me so long to get back to you! A lot of stuff has already been said, ...

Hi! Here for a quick review! Most predators were attracted usually by noise but the leader couldn’t have cared less. Comma after "noise" It was too cold to breathe through ...

Hi! I've read the other chapters, and they're pretty good. I like how deep this story is turning out to be, its interesting! It the person who had broken it ...

Hi! Hope here for a quick review! I don't normally edit scripts, so I really have no idea what I'm doing. I thought I'd make some comments about the content ...

Hi! Here for a quick review! I think most of the problems have been fixed, so I'll just go through and make a couple overall comments. I just want to ...

Hey! Seems like there's a decent amount of good comments on this, so I won't go too in depth, but I really liked this! Makes me want to read more ...