GryphonFledgling

I agree with Muse. The first stanza had a great rhyme scheme going there, but come second stanza, it all goes up in smoke. Oh no, metaphors? Umm... Subtle? Ugh... ...

Wow, I liked this. I don't have much time to give you a full review, but I will give it my best shot. Loved your first sentence, I did. I ...

I agree with Majestic Fantasist up there. Your character is ultra-cool commando babe with magic powers, but we really don't know what she is thinking. Who is telling this story? ...

This was an intriguing start. One thing that I noticed is that you seem to start nearly all your sentences with a pronoun - 'it and 'she' ( PARTICULARLY 'she') ...

They may not mean to but they do. I loved this line. It just had the quick step-step pace without being overburdened. Overall, I liked the flow of the poem. ...

I have to echo everyone else on this... The smilies really do not belong there. I think I may have some inkling of what you are trying to say, but ...

The beginning with the figure was confusing, because then you switched from third person to third person. I got lost for a moment. Also, the title confused me at first. ...

I liked this poem. It was short, but it was sing-song and to the point. What point that was exactly, I'm not entirely sure, thought I am guessing paranoia about ...

This is the French book, yes? Le Petit Prince? Did you read it in English or French? This was a very nice piece. I liked your language. However, I didn't ...

I went through and edited for punctuation, etc. for you so you can see where you erred. You really seem to like your comma key, but you don't really use ...

Well, everyone else has jumped all over everything I was going to say, so I am left to sweep up what's left. And there isn't much. This was a great ...

When your English teachers says sonnet, this isn't what he means, is it? ;) This was beautiful in a sort of sick way -- I don't know how to describe ...

I really liked this. I'm not much of one for sports stories, but this captured and held my attention admirably. The only thing that bothered me were the italics. They ...

Usual disclaimer: I am not much of a poetry writer and certainly not a critic, but I like to read it. This was really nice. Your imagery was beautiful and ...

Interesting work. It reminds me somewhat of the character of Gatsby in "The Great Gatsby." It was mainly the image of the pier and the person standing on it looking ...