Griffinkeeper

Blood-soaked and almost lifeless, the girl slowly dragged her unwilling body out of the debris. Breathing heavily, she forced her body up, her legs and arms dangling pathetically - giving ...

Most detailed critiques require a lot of time on the part of reviewers. Not many reviewers can do that many critiques in that detail. Some of them look at things ...

I thought you missed some opportunities to develop the story. Before she sets up camp, you could describe the scenery a little. Some of the parts were really creepy too. ...

Okay... Gentano, then his son Golard, who was Lothum’s father, maintained a strong hold over the Hachian, making sure that they would not defy their plans to reclaim Earth. Minara, ...

Dark Redemption Into The world may have been quite a place of beauty and amazement, but towards the end of the 22nd century that all chaged. Secreats were uncoverd and ...

Er... this isn't really a prologue. This is simply a flashback. The problem is that flashbacks aren't necessarily prologues. While prologues involve the past, it is usually written in the ...

Even though I normally discourage writers from writing in first person for prologues, this one works because the person is the author (in character) and not necessarily a main character. ...

I don't think this is a proper prologue. Prologues are normally done in third person and in past tense. This one made a big no no by switching between past ...

Well done. I wish there was a better way of indicating unicorn speak, like italics or brackets or something. It just looks weird without the quotation marks. This makes it ...

Welcome. Here is my review. "It is almost time for...............................The end. The end of the world............The end of the universe!!!!!!!" Said a loud booming voice that bursted through

I got to admit, it seemed like the story didn't quite make it off the ground. It seemed like I would start reading one way to introduce the story, then ...

Hello as you can see i'm new here and i'm new to writing I normally write and draw comic books and have decided to take on writing books as well. ...

Ah a newbie. Welcome, there is a few things I see in this story that concern me. The first is the number of weapons. They have a Katana, Whip, and ...

I really hate these lines: He carried no weapons, except for a small dagger attached to his belt. If It weren't for the light of the full moon sitting among ...

After the pixies came I started to lose interest. I mean, what is the point of the story if the protagonist gets everything she wants handed to her on a ...