Griffinkeeper

Welcome to YWS! It's very nice to see a new member fall in love with YWS and then write poetry about it. It's very humbling. There is a minor thing: ...

I rather like the way that the Wyvern took over the village. Instead of the cliche fire and terror, it hypnotized the villagers. As a result, the premise was interesting. ...

I rather liked this. It was coherent and even though I haven't read the first three chapters, it was nonetheless easy to read. The only part that really confused me ...

Hello, I'm Grif! Let's dive right into the critique. Exhausted, I wait for the plane from my home to the New World to land. It is still dark outside, my ...

I didn't like the letter. 1. The letter was too short. Back in the day, letters would be a lot longer. The letter read more like an e-mail than it ...

The poem is more of a rant than anything else. There's nothing really wrong with that either. There is, however, a lot of repetition; which could be trimmed down. The ...

Prologue: Get rid of it. Which is more interesting: being told an interesting story, or listening to someone tell you how they're going to tell you an interesting story? Obviously ...

Long ago, deep in the peaceful forests of the Realms of Ascar, thousands of creatures live in peace, respecting the ways of the Ancient Ones, the stars, whose voice guided ...

This is what is known in the business as navel gazing. This is because the poet is so completely and utterly self-absorbed that they just look at their own navel. ...

Whoa... Okay, so I guess I should describe this weird habit that readers have. Readers have been conditioned so that when they see capital letters, they read it as "shouting." ...

The air in Easton always held a grey ambience of dull haze. A constant rusty scent lingered through the city’s streets and homes. Black clouds of smoke replaced the natural ...

I rather like this poem. It captured in part the nostalgia for old cars. I liked the part where it was talking about how, even though it was old, it ...

It was pretty, whatever it was... It's called a Railroad Novel, but it doesn't seem to have anything to do with railroads. If it had something to do with the ...

Love poems tend to need more care than regular poems. What love poems need to convey is love, which can be quite difficult. The idea is to convey that feeling ...

This looks like it may be part of a story? I noticed a few typos. Nostrels flaring Should be "Nostrils." It seems exausted, Should be "exhausted." Tepping forwards Should be ...