Published May 14, 2011
There I was switching on my computer one day, eager to visit YWS, when I realized to my horror that the internet connection was not working. It took a few days for the connection to be fixed, and during that time I came to acknowledge what YWS has started meaning to me in the few months that I have spent here. I got the idea for this poem and have only written it today. Tell me if you like it and if you feel the same.
Never before have I spent more time
on any site than Facebook.
Never before have I been welcomed
and accepted, so quickly, so dearly.
Never before have I felt more like
an outsider, insecure and scared.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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141,472 Literary Works • 674,496 Reviews
helloo!
I don't have any criticism for you since the others already took care of that 
I'll be reviewing this for you today *nods*
I just want to say that this is a real sweet nice poem and I agree with you..
I like how people here really help with improving my writing by giving constructive reviews and still be really friendly..
I like it that you wrote a poem about it and I like it!
My favorite part:
This is so true
Good write!! I enjoyed reading this and thanks for posting it
keep writing!
-qaralynn-
Love the poem! It's completely relatable to me, I love YWS! Anyway I love the poem and great job, even if you just wrote it that day it looks really good! And after all great ideas dont need months of thought every time! Great job and keep up the good work!
Welcome to YWS!
It's very nice to see a new member fall in love with YWS and then write poetry about it. It's very humbling.
There is a minor thing:
Should be "each."
The structure of the poem could also be improved I think. Right now it's set up so that there is a new stanza every two lines. I think you should try making it a "Never-nor" poem, so instead of having two lines then another "never" you could have a "never," two lines, a "nor" another two lines, and then move to the next stanza.
To make that last bit more clear, here is a sample stanza:
"Never have I seen a mod,
like Grif that is more handsome,
nor have I seen with my eyes
newbies held for ransom?"
Okay, so I fail at poetry, but the idea is pretty straight forward. By taking this sort of structure, it would make the poem seem less like a list and more like a verse. It's not that the current structure is bad; don't get me wrong. This is just a suggestion on how it might look better. One of the neat things about writing on YWS is that you can really experiment with your writing to see how things look.