GordonRamsayLuver

Posts: 2 Reviews: 0 206 Points [ Donate ] Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 7:08 pm Post subject: Trapped -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A minute closer to dea

My Lord and lady, I am brave, strong and clad in metal. I have sent dragons to the grave , indeed, I’m full of mettle what is this word? I ...

Hi In the first line I saw "Those dice are there for rolling girls!" ... 2,4,666. does it suppose to be 6,6,6 because you can't get 666 on a dice. ...

Unfair You get a million offers. I get none People go and hang out. I can't join the fun. You think that I may spoil the day, Because to you ...

hello again let me start off to say if you read my comment on the other poem it applies here also because you did the same mistakes over again. Its ...

Great job I must say on the rhyming pattern. Rhyming is kind of difficult but you did it and it makes sense which means you didn't force it. There isn't ...

let me start off with these lines here... When you unlocked those familiar gates( period here) I flew naked above a world of steel (period here) I pleaded in dread ...

Hello I am GordonRamsayLuver but its GRL for short. Ok about your poem your rhyme thing going on was good untill the end. The end wasn't very impressive because it ...

Hello I am GordonRamsayLuver or GRL doesn't matter. So this is like on paragraph not really a poem. You should have seperate stanzas because it is much neater and looks ...

Hi I am GordonRamsayLuver you might have heard of me. So about your poem... I like the rhyme scheme. It is constant which is good. I also liked it had ...

What draws me back, I do not know. But bring me down in such an anger, Like a piercing arrow. I will not try to avenge them, But i can ...

I really liked this. I didn't see any problems in it. But You don't need the italics because what is the point? The poem had great imagery in it, and ...

Hi I am GordonRamsayLuver. How are you doing? Ok now to the critiquing. The structure is not needed because it doesn't make any sense. You Wrote " And their tunnels ...

I live in a place dim and tight A comma can be here. where the boogyman comes out at night period here. I do everything I can to stay awake ...

I agree with timjim77 on this was it does surpasses the beginning. Please try not to do that because sometimes people find that confusing and don't know where the poem ...