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Hey Mayfyre, how's it going for you? You seem to be adapting well to YWS life. I really enjoy it when I see you've posted another poem. The first time I saw this one- it was on the featured pieces page! Good going, my friend!

I'm jumping on the same bandwagon as the other reviewers, I just adored this piece. That sounds wierd- but I loved it. I even had one of those moments, (the seal of approval in my opinion) like when you say to yourself 'I wish I''d wrote that'. Depressing for oneself- but not for you my friend.

This ryhme scheme is also my favourite, which as a matter of randomness, I seldom use. I don't quite now why though. All I know is you made the right choice using it here.

The first stanza's great:

The pale day fades and leaves the world to the unseen.

Light shatters on the lucent fern and ancient silver bark,

to a thousand opalescent pieces, mourned by a lone lark,

singing her domain to sleep from a throne of glossy green.

The tune of star-lit gloaming - like the silver rain of spring-,

trickles through the velvet beams -the soft sun’s last caress-,

and dances through the sacred groves, adorned with twilight’s dress,

like a dead day’s recollection, carried on a lustrous wing.

in self-same rhyme and cadence fair that fills this eve in June,

It is quite beautiful and flows with out bumps as already said. That's all I can say about this.

-Amber

The words you chose were very exquisite and rich, and the rhyming was well done as well. The rhyme scheme you chose was reminiscent of an Italian sonnet. A,B,B,A. (Abba, catchy, eh?). I simply wonder why you fell off the rhyme scheme and went to A,A,B,B on the last stanza.

This is a beautiful poem. The rhyming seems effortless and the whole piece flows without any bumps.

I especially like the last stanza:

'The last light of the day is gone and night’s blue veil descends;
The lark kisses the world good-night and so her fair song ends
on a trembling silver note that like a raindrop in the sea,
fades into the balmy night and finds its way to me.'

You have my first star.

I love this! It's amazingly written, you really capture the beauty in such a small thing. I was awe struck at wording and beauty you put into the world. You're metaphors and personification were wonderful. I can't say anything more, nothing struck me as being terrible. It's just, WOW.

Overall: Nothing, this earns a star, but wowwy... god that poem was immense!

Good luck
VSN

Great job I must say on the rhyming pattern. Rhyming is kind of difficult but you did it and it makes sense which means you didn't force it.

There isn't much to say about it because their is nothing wrong with this it is great.

If you need me pm me anytime and I will get back to you.

See you Around GordonRamsayLuver