Hmm, this is very cliche, with the whole dove thing and piercing arrows. Which greatly weakens this peice as an idea that had some potential into a mess of cliches. My advice would be to avoid cliches at all cost when editing this. Work on making you're message bit clearer and expanding on this would help a lot. For the theme, it doesn't give it justice. Poetry should make us feel the emotions of person. My suggestion would be plan to change this, strengthen this. Lose the cliches and remember show the readers, not tell them. Show.
Overall: It has potential, just rework it, and we'll see how it is after a big edit.
Good luck
VSN
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