Gahks

This piece lacked action, but this turned out to be an advantage for something that tackles such a tricky issue. You didn't make it too emotionally charged. You could improve ...

Apart from the occasional spelling/punctuation errors, this story has potential. You could do with substituting 'red' for synonyms such as 'crimson' or 'burgundy,' while still keeping the repetition,

This is a great poem. You managed to find a decent rhyme scheme, which always livens up my day. Punctuation was inconsistent in places, but this is a small aside ...

The only thing I really liked about this poem was the comparison to life. Otherwise it seemed a little ordinary. Find something much more powerful to express in just so ...

This story didn't really grip me. I was expecting more action - I like openings to hit the ground running. But I do see the mysterious quality in your buildup. ...

The best bit about this piece is the ending. It's chilling and leaves a sour taste in your mouth. The main problem for me is that there's too much description ...

This is powerful stuff. I love the way you evoke the artistry of Brady's work so beautifully and with such respect for him and those he documented. The piece could ...

What this essay lacks is COHESION and STRUCTURE. At the moment, it feels like you're jumping around from one point to the next - it's too disjointed. Like some other ...

Maybe not "the well-televised Columbine massacre that I would like to tell you about," but "Take the well-televised Columbine massacre." This would sound more natural and less stilted. "Bullying" as ...

The ending's abrupt and effective. This piece would really benefit from better spacing and a syntax/punctuation clean-up. I agree with Sleeping Valour in that 'murder' seems like the wrong word ...

Agreed. This poem seems too artificial and forced. Don't use too much anaphora (starting with the same phrase over and over and over again). Use it sparingly, to spice up ...

I love its subtlety and delicacy. I think enjambement would work better rather than the dash: "If you can't see The forest for the fleas?" The entire piece seems symbolic, ...

This is one of the better poems I have read. Well done. The first line has too many full stops. I like the end-stopped sentences in the rest of the ...

As other reviewers have pointed out, you need to clean up your punctuation. Tbh, I didn't care much for Yuki. As readers, we need to be immediately enchanted by your ...

The first two sentences were definitely the best; they encapsulated the whole piece beautifully. Your writing is very emotional, we can see that, but the passage is finished before the ...