Gahks

Agree, Eimear: Don't constrain yourself by having to stick to a rhyme scheme or a metre. This is why I tend to write in blank verse, not rhyming verse. Just ...

Yes, I agree, it is a bit lengthy. This definitely has potential. However, the one thing it lacks is SHOWING. At the moment, you're telling us far too much of ...

Waking to silence, the dim light cascading over my room, casting a flickering shadow of feathery clouds You use too many present participles; make them active verbs. I tiptoe down, ...

Yeah, I agree Vernon. You really need to let us know what the speaker is feeling like. It's too descriptive. Either get rid of it or keep it to the ...

Wow! Great, but like Suzanne said, either lose the first stanza or rework it. It's too much telling and not enough showing. Otherwise, this was faultless. Excellent. 9/10 :D :D ...

This is certainly a good start. Some of your imagery was really fresh; this was good to see. You use way too many italics. They're distracting. Get rid of them: ...

I really like the use of the extended metaphor; highly effective. As Vernon says, the ending leaves the piece on exactly the right note. One question: are there two speakers? ...

Prose poem?! Never heard of the term before... will look up... do you mean blank verse? Anyway, some really great images of entrapment and claustrophobia. Since I am unfamiliar with ...

Wow. Extremely poignant. Your description is elegant and deeply moving. To improve it, I think you could improve your lineation: "Is it not beautiful? I am as a lover that ...

This really has potential! I really liked the way you started off with some wry anecdotes but I found the argument in defence of sarcasm a bit thin on the ...

This is a really interesting poem! Well done. I haven't discovered the 'hidden' meaning yet but I will re-read it later. I'd be happy to discuss your authorial intentions some ...

I chose your poem for my 50th review; what a poem! Really well done. Your language is fluent, eloquent and perfectly captures the speaker's sense of longing (or that's how ...

Part One seemed far more interesting than Part Two. The second section, full of italics, only served to overwhelm and intimidate the reader. You could solve this problem by turning ...

This is a decently written poem with some great, albeit horrible, imagery. You could improve it further by adding full stops at the end of each second line; the resulting ...

Hey there! I saw your poem had no reviews so I thought I'd be first to give feedback! You had some interesting ideas but don't throw them away by passivising ...