Gadi.

I just realized something too: Directness leads to cliche. This poem tells us a lot. "I hate life." So...what? That's what all the emo people say when they cut themselves. ...

Wow. Short. Suggestions: This poem has no potential, but you've done great with it! I like how you create this chain of actions: You touch my lips, my lips kiss ...

Mmmm.... This seemed like a sophisticated poem at first read, but during the second read it all collapsed. I think this has been done before--darkness is light, death is life, ...

NICE! This is really good. I have to say I am impressed. I am wowed. The way you told us the HEART portion, it is info-dump, but there is no ...

Mmmmmmmm.... Interesting.... Mmmmm... I am kind of slit in half right now. There are so many places where this story could've went wrong, but in the end there were only ...

Here are my thoughts on this: It seemed like an excellent writing stlye, voice, tone....beautiful writing strageties, really. I felt like I was reading a poem. The problem(s) have to ...

"September eleventh: when nightmarish sounds Echoed throughout our globe. " Why do you tell us that the sounds were nightmarish? SHOW us! "Though the future's uncertain, veiled in doubt, Hope ...

Wow. I like this. It's not amazing, but it's one of the better poems on here. I loved how you wrote that the "flames licked the stones" (or something like ...

It's going to be hard critiquing this. The only bad thing about this is...CLICHE!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH! People like WRITING cliches, but they hate READING cliches. Guess which one I am going ...

I like it! The first two sentences were confusing, but after I understood that the entire meaning of the poem was the Anne Frank "I want to live even after ...

My favorite stanza from this was "to sit and stare at the girl of your dreams but thats just it, dreams. Thump Thump. " It's ironic and funny. Otherwise, the ...

The beginning is excellent. I like the fog metaphore...but I hated the last two lines of stanza one! They seemed so passe, and incredibly unrhymthic, especially "as a wounded ghost" ...

I agree--the beginning is kinda rocky, and there are some parts that just zap the whole song (like "So don't let them Call you an angel. Because then You are ...

I think all the people above already said everything, but here are a few minor suggestions: "With confusion..." Completely agree with Clau. Way too tell-not-show. "Straight backed against the chair." ...

The first stanza has several problems. As I walk to the valley of death… {Why the three dots?} It is a site to behold. {This is telling us. Plus, delete ...