[NOTE: this story was actually inspired by my Psychology textbook. There was an editor's note in the "Split-Brain Patient" section that went something along the lines of, "When reading these reports [about split-brain patients], I always imagine one playing a solitaire game of "Scissors, Paper, Stone" -- right hand versus left hand." I thought it was funny, so I decided to run with it.
Also, I know there are many different names for this game, but you know what I mean. They say write what you're comfortable with, and I think that includes childhood games.]
****
Rock. Paper. Scissors. Damn.
Rock. Paper. Scissors. Damn.
It's what I do in my spare time. I sit in the corner and play "Rock, Paper, Scissors" with myself. People who see me try to do it themselves, but they say it is too hard, because they favor one side to the other, and that side always wins. They are amazed at how either of my hands has an equal chance of being victorious, and they will sit for hours watching me battle myself.
Rock. Paper. Scissors. Damn.
When I was six, I was hit in the back of the head by my best friend with a shovel. From then on, I was prone to seizures. For four years, my seizures would come suddenly, frequently, and violently. They took me to a neurosurgeon, who said my only hope was to sever my corpus callosum. A month later, I went under the knife, and I haven't had a seizure since. I am now 19.
Rock. Paper. Scissors. Damn.
My parents suddenly noticed something weird about me. I could be writing a paper, and my parents would ask what I was using to write with. I would look at the thing in my hand, and it would suddenly seem very foreign to me. There would be no name for the strange object in my hand, until I set it down. Then I knew it was a pencil. My father, thinking this was odd, told me to pick up my pencil. It turned into a feat as impossible as diving to the bottom of the Mariana Trench without SCUBA gear. No matter how much I told myself to pick up the pencil, I just couldn't do it. It was when my mother said, "It's okay, you don't have to pick it up," that I could put it out of my mind, and pick up the foreign writing utensil.
Rock. Paper. Scissors. Damn.
That was about the time they sent me to a testing clinic. For my first test, they locked me in a bright, white room. I sat at a desk, facing a large screen. A dot appeared in the middle of it, and I was told to stare at the dot while they flashed a word on the screen. Staring at the dot, they asked me to say what I saw on the screen.
"Art," I said.
They then told me to point at the word I saw. I argued that it would be redundant to be pointing at the word I already said I saw, but I was told to point to it anyway. I pointed, and was asked if I saw the word "HE".
"No," I said. "I saw 'Art'. Where did you get 'He'?"
After much arguing with the testers, I left the testing area. Those idiots had no idea what the hell they were talking about; there was no "HE" up on the screen for me to be pointing at. I went to the room reserved for me. It was similar to the testing area, except there was a bed along with the desk, and no big screen. I sat on the bed and screamed into a pillow. Didn't these idiots know anything? Why would they tell me that I was pointing at a word when I told them I saw another?
Rock. Paper. Scissors. Damn. Damn. Damn.
Later, it was explained to me that the word "HEART" was flashed on the screen, and that I actually saw both parts, but verbally, I saw "ART", and through actions I saw "HE". It made absolutely no sense to me. They explained that, because of my surgery, my right and left brain hemispheres couldn't communicate to each other, and tell me that I was looking at "HEART" rather than "HE" and "ART".
Basically, the testers told me that I was a freak.
It explains the people watching me play this stupid childhood game by myself. It explains why the right hand is able to beat the left hand, and vice versa. It explains why nothing around me is as it seems.
Rock. Paper. Scissors. Damn it.
Rock. Paper. Scissors. Damn it all.
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139,556 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
Thank you everyone for your wonderful feedback. However, this was posted in 2007, and as much as I appreciate kind words, I'm going to lock it so that new pieces have a chance to be reviewed.
i wanted to expess how much i think of your peice...i like how you used the simple game of chess to express what was really going on with the character.there is not really anything i can critique or chance about this simply because it was so well developed and put together.there is one thing i would have like thought that would be for your story to have ben longer.how long did it take you to come up with the idea for this and create it?just wondering. but overall i love this its so original and definently caught my attention.
Quick Input- This is nice, it's Interesting and captivating- and you held a constant theme.
That's an admirable trait.
*claps*
My only input it would seem, is that you could use a few italics in you thing. For emotion.
Let me explain-
Here, you say:
After doing that for a while ( with yourself, I might add), it gets annoying. you are supposed to get annoyed/tired. It's just human nature.
So I would suggest that you utilize italics so it's seems a lot more obvious. They do not necessarily have to show up until you repeat "damn" thrice.
or, you could try...
But I think you should leave the "Damn it., Damn it all" lines alone as they are. it adds a sense of cold bitterness to your characters feelings. Like an emotional roller coaster, ahaha.
Yeah, so that's all I have to add. this was very nice, and you integrated your character's childhood memories and past beautifully. You didn't even address the fact that you were playing, or the reason- but the affect of those memories showed up in your manner of play, and emotion.
That's really skillful.
*claps* (again)
Keep Writing!
----------------
-Jojo
This is fascinating. I like how you explained the condition without any melodrama, just showed a few situations where the condition came into play, and how it effected everything. I think maybe a few examples of how this effected interpersonal stuff would maybe add something, but I'm not sure that it wouldn't just over complicate a powerful, simple piece. At any rate, fantastic work!
Hello there:)
A very inspiring, quizzical read indeed.
I really must say, this was a very interesting read. i liked how you centered the entire story around a simple child hood game of chance. It was very interesting to see how you molded the story to the concept of the game.
I also thought it was funny to see the repeating "Rock. Paper. Scissors. Damn." it gave the story a more "game of chance" view, i guess you could say. Over all, it was well thought out, worded correctly so the reader could understand it clearly.
keep your creativity flowing,
---Ash
A nice, concise and interesting work. It reminded me of my Psychology class and the labs involved with it. The set up is very simplistic but also very effective and unique. I think that it is good that you did not try to make this story dramatic but rather gave it a passive tone. An interesting read. Good work all around.
*waves* I hath raided your portfolio and settled on this. ^^
Hmm. An interesting concept, yes. I do like the repetition of the ro sham bo thing. Keeps a consistent theme throughout. Me gusta. I also like your writing style.
Although I do think that this would be much better if you lengthened it and lessened on the telling versus showing. If this was less "here's some exposition" and more "this is what's happening now and this is why you should care," this would be really great. It's good the way it is, but it would be superfantasticextraterrificspecial if you lengthened it and switched up some of the detailing.
Overall, though, it is a very tasty oneshot. Short, sweet, and to the point. Although I'm not entirely sure if I'm in love with the "short" part, because I'm kind of greedy and I want more. xD
So sue me. I'm only human! I like it. I want more. Give me mooorrreee. *extends hands in a mind controlling gesture*
...Um yeah. Enough cookies for me.
-Saint Razorblade
The Official YWS Pirate
I totally agree with all of the above! This was really good.
It was very creative! Great story line.
I agree, that the starting was excellent and as you brought out the story in small sections!
Excellent! Cannot wait to read more of your work,
-- M.B.Author
Thanks for the feedback. I'm going to give this to my psych teacher and see what she thinks about it.
That part wasn't original. The "HEART" experiment was an example used in the text book, and it came just after the editor's note. But it's a cool experiment, and it's something you just can't help but think about.
NICE! This is really good. I have to say I am impressed. I am wowed.
The way you told us the HEART portion, it is info-dump, but there is no other way to do it. And I loved that! Did you make the HEART part up, or did you read about it somewhere?
You really decipted the disease in an original, moving method. This was much more emotional than some "incredbily sad" poetry out there.
I am not aainst swear words (in fact I use them at least ten times a day), but "Damn" doesn't seem that good in every "Rock, papers, scissors". It just totally drew my attention away. Maybe put it in every other "Rock, papers, scissors"?
EXCELLENT JOB ANYHOW!
all i can say is wow,,,,,,,,,no negative here, i loved it. it actually made sense to me, which could be scary in away. but you are good, no you are great. i loved the childhood piece, it brings the reader into it. cause really who hasnt played rock, paper, scissor. and said damn.......
Ohhh! I really liked this! The theory behind as well as the writing, you let it move along by itself, gradually moving towards the pinicle of information hehe. I also liked the 'damn' after each try.
Nice Work hehe.
*hearts* Le Penguin.
Wow. I really, really enjoyed this piece. Brilliant!
Really. I loved the way you began with the childish game, escalated very quickly (and with an admirable lack of info-dumping, bravo) to a big tragedy in this guy's life, and then ended with the game again. A very nicely written, lovely, sad piece.
I really don't have much to critique - other than to say again, what a good piece!
~Mademoiselle Kool
P.S. I like the way you have him say 'damn' after every time he plays with himself, because he loses to himself every time. That was funny. ~M-K