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Re: My Christmas Tree
I read it, and laughed on the inside all the way through, then out loud at the end. I'm not sure why I laughed, maybe because there was christmas music ...
Dec 16, 2011 -
Re: My Son is Gay
I read it, only to think that the dialogue was good and it was a riveting story. However, the message you're trying to impart is ambiguous. If you're a Christian, ...
Dec 10, 2011 -
Re: TITLE COMING SOON - prologue
I read it. Thought it was a little too tellie. You give away the characters; you don't show their actions. Instead, the story's handed to me on a verbose silver ...
Nov 13, 2011 -
Re: *Topic removed*
I read it. Here lies a spontaneous criticism of your "dramatic poem": Through my fingers, Good opener down and down. Flow contrivance- had you been in a dramatic sate, you ...
Nov 12, 2011 -
Re: Fiery Flames
I have not read it yet. Instead of simply reading it and then giving m a few thoughts, I'll just give you my spontaneous reactions after each line, in red. ...
Oct 26, 2011 -
Re: Bullies: One, Losers: None, Teacher: I Don't Really Care
I read it, and my first impression was shallow . And I'll tell you why- It's hard to convey emotions using only words and paper, especially when all you're doing ...
Oct 26, 2011 -
Re: If A Thought Is Worth A Penny...
I read it. See what I did there? Anyway, I thought your use of periods was a bit of a cheap tactic. The reason? Well, as I went about the ...
Oct 26, 2011 -
Re: Gamophobe
I read it, and thought it was very quaint, certainly simple enough for me to wrap my head around, which is always a good thing. At some points, however, I ...
Oct 26, 2011 -
Re: Already Fallen
I read it. There doesn't seem to be very much to say regarding flaws; there are none as far as I can tell. Instead of any glaring weaknesses, I'd say ...
Oct 19, 2011 -
Re: Shattered flutes and wasted whiskey
I read it, and thought it was very nice. Your poem does a good job of keeping pace with the reader's impressions... In other words, your lines of imagery were ...
Oct 18, 2011 -
Re: Topics and Opinions, very Interesting things.
I read it, and thought it was meh. I'm really not sure what this is supposed to be. You're writing as if you're conversing, which adds no depth to what ...
Oct 8, 2011 -
Re: Alone
I read it, and identified completely with it. I hate petty conversation, small talk- you called it "transient"... which is so true! I'm an introvert as well ;) But don't ...
Oct 2, 2011 -
Re: Reflections of a Nomad
I read it. This is a difficult poem to decipher, but it's imagery was acute. If you keep this kind of writing up, then you're sure to be noticed, and ...
Sep 19, 2011 -
Re: My Perfect Girl
I read it. First off- I'll have you know that I'm a Christian, too. You probably come from a household that stresses purity, etc. So do I. That must have ...
Sep 19, 2011 -
Re: Professor Morgenstern
I read it. It was darkly entertaining. Somehow, on the other side of things (the alternate and less poignant version of the Professor), I found that there was a bit ...
Sep 19, 2011
