FlyingDream

Short...But sweet. I really like this and yes it could be longer. I can't really say anything else except how great this was. I can't wait to read the whole ...

DesperateRomantic is right. This is a little short. But what I read was very good. The descriptions were great. I don't have anything else to say because it's so short. ...

Much, much, better! Thanks for spacing it out. :) Okay...Now your critique. Oh great....now what will the teachers think of me?" she thought as she skid into the parking lot ...

Yeah, I know what you mean about the details thing. I always go too fast. Thanks for your opinion though! And welcome to the site! (If you're new here. Are ...

Yuck, I know about the dialogue part, I stink at the whole period comma thing. I'm going to look something up that can help me. And I guess I'll add ...

Yeah, Tanslie's a girl. I knew I should have added that in somewhere. :) Anyways, I'm glad you like it, I'll start writing right away. Lol. :lol:

Great so far, but do a LIIIIIIITLE bit more showing and then it'll be great. Also, space out your writing a bit more.

What's wrong with the spacing?

Thank you all for your helpful comments. But, I'm going to put away this story for a while and come back to it later. I'm like: ACK! This is driving ...

Oooooo a good way of course. I kinda like those spooky stories. I don't have much to say right now that has already been said except: I'm excited to see ...

Wow a co-write! I like those. Anyway, I like how you introduced your character, Jayden. He seems like a real person to me. I also agree with Squalls on not ...

OK, Yeah, I agree, I don't think there should be a prologue. I dunno what I was thinking there. Thanks a billion for your comments there. So, I'm just going ...

Great job on your descriptions, I couldn't stop reading. You have a fan! Yay! I don't have any negative comments now, so keep up the good work.

I also agree with the alligator thing. I do like how you've described everything, but you need to give us a chance to connect with the characters a little bit ...

Hey, I really liked how you described everything. It kept me reading. I don't have any complaints now, so keep writing!