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Re: Joanna
I saw the way you walked over from the bar; your pale red lips caught my eye. Your grey eyes overshadowed by dark mascara, and your rose hair hung effortlessly ...
Jun 30, 2010 -
Re: After you finally contact me
telling me what happened is not a poem, it's the plan for a poem. so take this as a base and expand it- think through what this means to you, ...
Jun 30, 2010 -
Re: what can you see
OMGOSH I love it!!! reminds me of how sad I was when that girl in little house on the prarie (or whatever book it was, something of the kind) went ...
Jan 7, 2010 -
Re: Cassandra my love.
The problem, m'dear, is the rhyme scheme, but tis easily remedied. You asked me to love you and I tell you I once did. Your serenades and stories make me ...
Jan 6, 2010 -
Re: Find me
I tried to review this properly but I couldn't find anything obvious to change(cept maybe the comma when you say: I have, endured ). Just, maybe when you say things ...
Jan 6, 2010 -
Re: the Great
My brain hurts. That was amazingly good! I always see your name next to a poem and sigh and think, well, here is something that's going to be irritatingly good. ...
Jan 3, 2010 -
Re: Winter
There is some good imagery and wording in this poem, but something seemed off to me; a little forced? Like you were focused on making it old fashioned and not ...
Jan 3, 2010 -
Re: Lovers/ What am I to you?
I didn't think this was awful; get rid of everything above 'You are the blood that caresses me' and it would be good. I really like the bottom part; it ...
Jan 2, 2010 -
Re: Whatshername *Edited*
It is good, like the rhyming and stuff, and I liked the repetition of the What'shername part. But this girl comitted suicide, and that's a huge topic, and you've done ...
Nov 7, 2009 -
Re: The King of Carnations
that was just INCREDIBLE and SAD and POWERFUL and a million other complimentary words. I'm so very very extremely jealous and I'm afraid you're going to have to help me ...
Nov 5, 2009 -
Re: heart strings
A heart tugging at it's own strings. The 'it's' here should be 'its'. I you can replace the 'it's' with 'his' and it still makes sense, then it needs to ...
Nov 4, 2009 -
Re: first and last kiss
Helloooo. I kind of liked it, because it was disjointed and in an interesting format, but then I kind of didn't, because you used a lot of phrases I've read ...
Nov 3, 2009 -
Re: The unknown
You can think you know but you don't Things you know are false you can't know unless you experience Unless you experience You may not know Right, so your point ...
Nov 3, 2009
