Published November 4, 2009
A heart tugging at it's own strings.
Playing it's own sad song.
A song of weary, tearful pains.
A song of love that's gone.
"For good!! the heart echoed these words, as a tear it sheds.
It's broken state brings no peace as it's will have no love left.
It plucks on it's own heart strings playing a saddened chord.
The brain looks at the heart, thinks once then twice.
With as much logic as it could muster it spoke.
My love is gone. It ran to the hills and my heart plays this song.
My own tears will sing the beat and forever we will sing along.
The beat to this sorrow filled song.
The brain and the heart, along way from pleasure, have now only thoughts of pain.
I ask you this oh heart and mind, please play that tune for me again.
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140,790 Literary Works • 673,688 Reviews
The poem was great. It's filled with emotions and people will love this poem. It does flow well but in one part to me it didn't seem that it flowed but that maybe my opinion. I like how it has a dark and sad vibe to it. tell me if you write another poem.
A heart tugging at it's own strings. The 'it's' here should be 'its'. I you can replace the 'it's' with 'his' and it still makes sense, then it needs to have the apostrophe taken out. There's a few of these.
The parts I liked best where the parts where you rhymed, like here - My love is gone. It ran to the hills and my heart plays this song.
My own tears will sing the beat and forever we will sing along. Especially the second line. It makes your poem almost... musical, I guess. I really really liked it.
And I like when you talk about the brain and the heart as if they were a team working together, like they're friends. That was kinda original m'dear and I'm lovin it.
Another thing, maybe you could tighten it so it has a rhythm, because then it would flow better. The subject matter of the poem is really musical so it makes sense that the poem should be too. Pm me when you're done because I want to see it again :] mucho love xx
I love it.
Wow! This was really good! It kind of reminds me of Captain Bluebear but that's a good thing actually it's awesome. To me there was a harp in the back round. And you made the heart and mind into an actual character, for me I don't know about other people.
Amazing!
This isn't much of a review is it?
Well I loved it.
Wow I really really liked that. I could tell it was written with emotion. I love these heart ache lyrics/poems. This one was especially nice, since there was a lot of emotion. You could feel the narrator's sorrow and in my head I could hear someone reading it in a shaky kind of sad voice. That was really amazing. Great work!