You can think you know
but you don't
Things you know are false
you can't know unless
you experience
Unless you experience
You may not know
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,006 Literary Works • 672,809 Reviews
You can think you know
but you don't
Things you know are false
you can't know unless
you experience
Unless you experience
You may not know
Right, so your point is that you need to experience something to truly know about it, but all you've really done is tell me that in three different ways, one of those ways merely being a reversal of the other. Give me examples, make it more personal, use the imagery and metaphors which make up poems. This is kind of just explaining your point to three year olds. They didn't get it the first time, so you rephrased it twice so it sunk in. xx
I LOVE IT! I WANNA MAKE OUT WITH IT! Told you people would like it
Love,
Nutty
This poem is redundant.
I'm sorry, but you need to do something else besides restating what you already said in reverse order.
"The sky is blue
Blue is the sky." is not a good poem. I feel like that's what you did here.
Hey there!
Ok, so first off this is a short poem. That doesn't necessarily make it bad, it just means that sometimes it can feel a little unfinished.
You need a little punctuation in there as well! More the most part I'd expect you just need some full stops and commas, but I'm sure you could jazz it up a little.
To be honest, the whole thing feels a little repetitive to me at the moment. I understand that it is a thought that you had to put down, but I do feel that you should improve on it slightly. Perhaps you could add a couple more stanzas, expanding on the situation and the feelings.
Hope this helped a little!
~Amy
Interesting... I definitely liked it. There's not very much to say, because I can't think of anything you could improve on, and I don't think you should lengthen it because it works fine as it is. Maybe you should try writing some other longer poems - I think this would work particularly well next to other poems - you have a really unique style and it would be nice to see more of it.
yes
this interests me. I wish you had added more.. However it leaves one to think up their own conclusions. Was this just a quick thought that you had to get down?