Flemzo

At first glance, this looks like a poem. Right off the bat, you can do one of two things: either take away some description and make it a poem, or ...

I don't think I've critted anything of yours, so I figure, I better start now. This was a very sweet poem. I like the metaphor with the star: it's easy ...

Hello there, young one. I noticed this floating around, so I thought I'd give it a shot. You have a great idea going here, and a unique way to go ...

Awww... sad poem. I kind of liked what was going on here. You have a great idea going on here, and that's great. For a couple of crits: My nameless ...

First off, welcome to YWS! Reakeda asked me to crit this poem, and I must say, I'm impressed. It's a very sweet poem, and I'm glad I had a chance ...

As a whole, I like where you're going with this, with a parent adressing their child, trying to relate to them. I like the change of perspective at the end, ...

Crit by request! As usual, I'm making notes and crits as I read it, so anything said is usually first thought/suggestion. Sometimes the name they give you is all wrong. ...

I'm doing a line-by-line crit here, so I'll make corrections and thoughts as I go along. Obviously, he had overdone it a little, and somehow he had ended up… Ended ...

A very enjoyable play. It just puts the whole "my characters are running away with the story" line that writers keep using into tangible evidence. My only thing is that ...

From this poem, I learned I'm a sucker for anything about music. I really enjoyed this poem, and I nearly melted at the ending (yes, melted. I almost "aww..."ed, but ...

It was hard for me to read this simply because it was a list more than a poem. Lists are generally boring to read, simply because they look like you're ...

How exciting! I was a bit thrown off by all of the chemical reactions and stuff (I've never been good with sciencey things), but it kept me in suspense. That ...

As I'm reading this, I'm fixing your spacing. It's way different when you copy something from Microsoft Word onto here. It screws with your spacing so much, and that's why ...

Absolutely creepy, dude. At first I didn't think I was going to enjoy this, but I was eventually sucked in, and I just stared at the screen at the end ...

I'll have to admit, I laughed a little. It had the essence of going back to the McCarthy era, where everyone was a Communist based on hearsay evidence. I'm guessing ...