Fireweed

This really didn't do anything for me; it was quite flat and bland. Remember to show rather than tell; this had no imagery whatsoever. You also used very simple vocabulary: ...

I disagree with the previous posts on the rhyming; I thought it was quite well- done. However, I'll second the comments on correcting the punctuation and rethinking your word choice. ...

Wow, I really enjoyed this- darkly beautiful and completely original and unique. Slightly disturbing, but in a good way; it's powerful. Your use of italics was also very effective, I ...

The message here is good, but the style is too wordy, almost a little preachy. It seems a bit repetitive, too, like in some parts you're just re-hashing what you've ...

Fun! Nice job with the rhyme and rhythm. One suggestion: "All that classical's too old for me." This sounds a bit awkward to me, even though it works with the ...

I like your style; The description in this piece is lovely. However, I'll second Myth's suggestion: Tell the reader more about the music box! This would be improved so much ...

I don't know how mean I can be... I actually liked this. :) It flows nicely, great rhyme, and I love the idea of a paint brush doing pirouettes across ...

Nice! I like the idea that the poem is "wounded" and the pen is "healing" it. A few nitpicks: Kudos on the consistent rhyme scheme, but some of the words ...

Yeah, basically I can only echo Claudette, Cadmium and CK Lynn; This was rather cliche and didn't really have much depth or substance. I really didn't get much out of ...

Yeah, I really enjoyed [i]Speak,[/i] too... I loved Melinda's sarcastic humor. (That was her name, right?) It may have been aimed at teen girls, but I definitely wouldn't call it ...

Nice...The revised version definitely shows a lot improvement, less repetitive and it seems to have more of a point. The rhyme is very well-done, not forced at all. I also ...

This is well-written... Great rhyme and rhythm,it flows very nicely, and you used interesting vocabulary. The actual story is pretty predictable, though. It's just been done so many times before, ...

'Twas slightly emo, but I really enjoyed this; Kudos on the consistent rhythm and vivid imagery. You did drown it in adjectives a bit. It might be difficult to cut ...

I liked the way the soldier was questioning who he was and the way you presented the reader with two conflicting ideas, portraying soldiers first as mindless killers and then ...

This is very well-written. As others have said, your character's voice is very believable, the imagery is so vivid, you use interesting words. I loved the beginning; so intriguing. It ...