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FireSpyGirl

Firerose

  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Action / Adventure Re: The Hero's Brother (10.1)

    Hi there! Again, a really good chapter! There are a few sentences that are rather awkward though, and I'm going to point those out. First one: "the dark, thick woods ...

    Nov 9, 2018
  • Poetry » General, General Re: Shadows...

    This is an amazing poem! I loved every word, verse, and sentence. :D. A few of the sentences to me had a few extra words, but that may just be ...

    Nov 8, 2018
  • Poetry » Realistic, Other Re: Alone

    This is really good! I love the depth, the feeling, the pain. You expressed it really well. What I also love about this poem is that everyone can understand it, ...

    Nov 7, 2018
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, Fantasy Re: Chapter two: Sarah and the pink bunny Twiki

    Hi there! Also a very cute chapter!! I'll try not to be to harsh. XD. These lines:"She was supposed to be waked up by her mom, dad and the village ...

    Nov 2, 2018
  • Poetry » Realistic, Narrative Re: the sands of time

    Hi there! I really enjoyed this poem! The only thing I noticed was a small typo. :). This line: "but the still slip by so quickly" Was that "the" supposed ...

    Nov 1, 2018
  • Short Story » Dramatic, Romantic Re: The Colors of Life

    I love this!! I'm just going to mention my favorite part! "Green. Green like the grass blades that poked through the spring thaw. Green like the vines that stretched across ...

    Oct 31, 2018
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, Fantasy Re: The Lost Dragon 8.2

    Hi there! This is good! There are three sentences that felt rather awkward though. This one: ""So on a scale from one to ten, how much do you miss the ...

    Oct 31, 2018
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Connection - 17 (everyone needs grief counselling)

    This is good! There is only one sentence that I noticed. "Even if she was just a little better than useless." To me, this just feels a little awkward. Maybe ...

    Oct 31, 2018
  • Short Story » Horror, Narrative Re: Seen: 12:39 AM

    Wow. This is good! So this won't be much of a review, but I just think we could use a little more description. Why is "She" so mad? Why did ...

    Oct 31, 2018
  • Poetry » Horror, Lyrical Re: The Scarecrow

    Hi there! So I really, really like this! There are few lines that kind of broke the rhythm you have going, and I would just like to offer a few ...

    Oct 31, 2018
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Action / Adventure Re: The Hero's Brother (9.2)

    Hi there! Nice chapter! Now feel free to ignore everything I say, as I tend to focus a lot on how sentences flow and words. So in the very beginning: ...

    Oct 31, 2018
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Fanfiction Re: Shreds Of Evidence...

    Hi there! Welcome to YWS! So this is an interesting story, and I'll try not to be to harsh. :). So most of what I am noticing is that your ...

    Oct 29, 2018
  • Article / Essay » General, General Re: What Is The Process To Appear For CAT 2018 Mock Test?

    Hi there! This is an interesting essay, and there is just one sentence that I thought needed some work. "CAT 2018 is the considered to be as the toughest management ...

    Oct 29, 2018
  • Poetry » Realistic, Other Re: Sad

    This is good! Now I would change the formatting a bit, like have go side to side: "A mother holding her dead baby In her thin, frail arms, tears streak ...

    Oct 29, 2018
  • Novel / Chapter » Narrative, Realistic Re: Little Sister Chapter Two(reboot)

    Hi there! I loved this chapter! It is well written and it is a good story! There are a few lines that seemed out of place. The first is this ...

    Oct 28, 2018


Goos are anarchists.
— WeepingWisteria