Feltrix

Can you be more specific about this 'barebones' problem? I think I get what you're trying to say, but I don't know how to isolate the problem so I can ...

There is no such thing as pestering with reviews!!!! I want as many as possible!!

The reason I didn't make the insanity/spell more extreme yet is because I was afraid that would be jumping through stages too quickly and I want to continue expanding on ...

You're sure the name isn't "The Fire Beneath?"

On the name subject, Protagonist Alsace's name was originally Alsari, but I changed it at some point and made Corso's sister be Alsari in a sort of homage, but then ...

Thank you @PrincessInk and @CrimsonQuill for your ruthless criticism, I really needed that. I'm not being sarcastic, I really mean that. I worried more about this chapter than the rest ...

NNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!* *Read in Darth Vader voice

Thanks! This is my first review day, too. But the reason everything makes sense probably has more to do with the fact that the first four chapters are introducing my ...

I'm currently revising all 54 chapters and posting them one at a time. Things like using school over and over again will get pulled as a result as well as ...

In that case, I'd include the Romani/Hungarian thing in the text. It kind of needs to be explained now because otherwise not everything makes sense.

"Eyes first, stomach second equals gold." That should be a bumper sticker. A weird and confusing bumper sticker, but still...

for lack of a better word, brain, No, seriously, if anyone has a better word, I want to know. And if anyone's wondering, I didn't name Thørn Feltrix after myself. ...

Wait, that's it?! This was a short story? There's no continuation? But I still need my questions to be answered! In that case, the whole thing with the Queen definitely ...

Honestly, I don't watch Babylon 5 and I don't even know what SOIAF stands for, but I should probably change the name of the Night Watch anyway.

I don't want to make Alsari a narrator because in the long run, she isn't very important. For the rest of the show/tell....that's actually very helpful! Thanks!