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Re: Dark Child
...Erm. Was there a point to the colors? And even if there was, you'll find that's not really a very logical method to employ in a poem; if you managed ...
Dec 16, 2006 -
Re: Sing, Virgilian Carmentis
Hello, darling! I stand by everything I said about this on Fictionpress... you make me feel incompetent. In the best way possible, of course. ;) I love this poem. Then ...
Nov 16, 2006 -
Re: Through the Mirror /P
Gorgeous, Brad. Truly wonderful. I spotted one typo--I think you inserted a comma instead of a period--but I can't find it now... Really, this is great. Your protagonist is so ...
Nov 14, 2006 -
Re: My Friend John
Fantasy of You: I have to admit, that when I first tried to read this, I quit after a few paragraphs. I came back later to finish reading it though--I ...
Nov 14, 2006 -
Re: Gandalf and The Balrog
I believe that, in terms of the capitalization of 'ensuing,' you've got the right of it, Bjorn--especially since this is written in a very archaic style. And... I kind of ...
Nov 12, 2006 -
Re: My very short simple story
This is a story? *raises eyebrows skeptically* Looks more like a rant to me.... Please do not post works on this forum unless you are serious about writing. The Young ...
Nov 11, 2006 -
Re: Addressing the Convalescent Dream-Junkie
My my, I wonder why this sounds so familiar... :shock: :D You're welcome, by the way. :wink: First off -- typo in the title. Secondly -- and you know I ...
Nov 1, 2006 -
Re: Welcome
Obviously I've been reading too many of Brad's reviews, but I only have this to say: Please stop writing. Or at least put it on hold until after you've learned ...
Oct 25, 2006 -
Re: Have you ever thought?
Awsomwritter13, please do not flood the forums. It isn't couth. As to the poem itself, it makes little sense. What exactly are you trying to get across? At the moment ...
Oct 25, 2006 -
Re: Your Heart
There is really no reason for you to be in a hurry; posting pieces in the forums isn't a race. It's not like you have to contend against deadlines or ...
Oct 25, 2006 -
Re: No One
The best descriptive word I can think of for this poem is "self-indulgent." Not only is it dotted with elementary grammatical and spelling mistakes ("know" should be "no," and spaces ...
Oct 25, 2006 -
Re: The Book I Read
This poem is really quite sweet... I like the feeling lent to it by the "childish" narrator. It definitely cuts down on the risk of sounding cliched. Only one piece ...
Oct 22, 2006 -
Re: Melancholy
I'm afraid I'm more in Brad's camp than Lottie's, but I'll see if I can't give you a few more productive hints towards rewriting this. (1) Please, please, please, in ...
Oct 22, 2006 -
Re: Rubber Boot Blues
How has this not been reviewed yet? Well, at least this way I'm first. *Is smug.* Now down to business... (Edit: oops, looks like I was beat to it!) This ...
Oct 14, 2006 -
Re: Leaking Contradiction
I'm afraid I'm going to have to side with Brad this time, Vamp. I know that writing things like this can be cathartic -- I know I've done similar things, ...
Oct 14, 2006
