Published October 25, 2006
No One
Have you ever felt like some one was watching you?
staring right at you, but know one is there?
feelings,being scared,whose there?
stalker, you turn no ones there!
Is there really someone out there?
Who cares? Who shares?
Who spares every moment to see you?
No one, No ones there
No one is there to share,Care...
Who's there? No ones there.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,494 Literary Works • 674,530 Reviews
Um...what she said. Also if you enjoy writing and truly want to improve, I have three words for you: Live, Read, Write. Living provides inspiration, reading promotes thinking, and writing as often as you can (even if it's horrible and you know it) eventually leads to improvement. Also improving on spelling/grammar in your posts probably will help you a lot.
Trust me I've read most of your poems, they are not terrible or anything, and I hope I didn't say they were. there is just some things that I'd expect from older people, which is wrong of me, but then there are some things that you could imporve on.
I think the reason you feel like this or COULD feel like this is because you posted a majority of your poems at once, these are old peoms now, girl... alright? I think that's the worst thin gyou can do, post 5 poems at once adn then kill your hopes once they're all ccritisized. Next time you should try posting 1 at a time and waiting a while and try to learn what other people are trying to teach you.
Yes, keep writing!!! My first attempts were horrid. (Most still are...) But you do definitely get better! Just listen to the advice everyone gives you. It does help. ^_^ Good luck and keep that pen and imagination busy!
No, keep trying. You'll get it sooner or later. Most of the people here have been writing for EVER!
Pandora
I give up. I cant write and I just have to face it
I didn't like this one either. (posted on other of your poems)
It has many typos and spelling errors.
Fand is right, no one will take you seriously for the name thing.
Keep trying!
Pandora
The best descriptive word I can think of for this poem is "self-indulgent." Not only is it dotted with elementary grammatical and spelling mistakes ("know" should be "no," and spaces after commas, please), but there is no specific pattern for capitalization, and the entire concept has been done to death. There also appears to be no purpose to the poem; it certainly doesn't enlighten the reader in any way.
Better luck next time.
Also, and this may be a personal thing, but having typos in your username makes the more serious writers on this site less inclined to take you seriously.