Tis a Petrarchan sonnet.
Gandalf and the Balrog
Thongs of fire lashed at Tharkûn the Great,
On the narrow pass of the dwarven bridge.
He struggled on that precarious ridge,
And still could not that dark-fire abate.
The bent, old servant of the Secret Flame,
Then defied the Shadow-Fire of Hell;
And lo! ensuing its downfall, he fell;
Into darkness, filled with heat none could tame.
*
They plummeted to a lake, and still fought,
For days in that utmost dungeon; then clomb;
Up the longest stair, to the mountains cone.
Finally, Gandalf left the beast to rot.
He strayed from thought and time; into the night.
And returned anew: shrouded in white light.
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Canary word: Present
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Oh please don't! (Hate me). I don't try to succeed at what I attempt - I merely attempt it for my own amusement. However, this poem was part of an English assignment...
I believe that, in terms of the capitalization of 'ensuing,' you've got the right of it, Bjorn--especially since this is written in a very archaic style. And... I kind of want to hate you for succeeding at writing a Petrarchan sonnet, which kick my butt every time.
Ah, thanks Sohini.
As for clomb, yes, it is a word. It's an archaic past-tense form of climb. And as for a capital 'e' after "And lo!", I've seen it done the way I've done it. *shrug*
this was really well written and keeping in mind the syllable-count and rhyming pattern-a difficult task wonderfully accomplished.
i think the "Ensuing" in "And lo! ensuing its downfall, he fell; " should begin with a capital e.
and "climb" is spelled as "clomb" in another line.
Awesome! I love that movie...
This is great! Is "clomb" a word? I've never heard of it.
Oh I know, and it's impossible to expand it, as I said, because it would go against the limits of a sonnet, therefore it wouldn't be a sonnet!
I don't agree with that idea of "Oh, this is so good, therefore you must expand it!" Right now, it's good. It's short, interesting, and vivid. Why would you want to clog up your poem with more? If it's good, it's good, so you don't have to expand on it.
</rant>
Thank you!
Well, I still stand in that LOTR lovers can find it quite diffucult to crit this. And I agree in that sonnets are insane to write. If I even tried to critique this, there would be so many rules to remember! So, once again, bravo!
Indeed. There's another poem which people said I should expand, sometime...
oh, make a non sonnet version of it then, more descriptive and detailed like what i said (the last part of my post was just an example of how you could be more descriptive)
I already made a topic for discussing the LotR, or at least why people foudn it too straining, in the Lounge I believe. After that I don't know what you were trying to say.
And as to why there's no more than there is, that's because it's a sonnet, and therefore there are rules that apply. I would have gladly added more on, and the fact that there was a limit(and special rules applied to this particular type of soneet), is why I struggled with it!
i could.... i think... and yes you can go wrong..... i wont talk about that here (not the right thread, start a new one in debate if u want to further discuss the topic)
this is good, but isnt this just the movie typed in a computer on a website for youngwirters to flourish and learn new teqinques and meet new and cool people........ is this exactaly what gandalf said the fight was like or just really close too it , i have to go check that out at my dads wich will be on freiday so ill get back to you then...
the grammer seemmed coreect (i had a "C" in spelling in elementary school all the time, so dont count on my spelling) the story was short consice to the point, it would have been a little nice if you could have further described them actually dukeing it out "the balrogs fiery blade flew past the old wizard( or just gadalf) inches from his scalp, but still the heat cut deeep into his skull, bringing him one step closer to the end of conciousness, one step closer to the end of life, one step closer to the end of time, feeling, and thought as he knew it; there for he had to fight, and with a mighty yell.... blah blah blah so on so forth get the point"
I'm not sure what to do... compliment you on the work or for attempting the work in the first place. Sonnets elude me.
Um... good job!
As long as you liked it, and ya, LotR can't be beat! It's a sonnet, and a petrachan, so there is a certain rhyme scheme, and each line must be 10 syllables. It was more difficult to produce that it might seem... But thank you ^^
Awesome battle that one. I loved your rhyme scheme as well... and that you remained consistent with it. That's hard to do and not sound forced, but you got it. plus, with LOTR you can't go wrong. Sorry I couldn't critique it!