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Re: Principal Mackenzie
Hey, here as requested. ^^ Sorry for any wait. I agree that the beginning was a bit odd. Too wordy, too legal-sounding. I thought that you're author's-note was continuing there, ...
Oct 9, 2009 -
Re: Late One Night
Yay! =D You joined! ;) Obviously, my username is Evi, nice to (re)meet you. To make a welsome post, though, you might want to head over here: . You can ...
Oct 8, 2009 -
Re: The End of the World
Hey, so. ^^ This was actually quite funny, for less than 250 words. I liked the Disney movie joke, and the woman thinking of her cat. However, beyond that I ...
Oct 5, 2009 -
Re: The Old Maple Oak Hotel
Hey Hammerkid. Evi here. In 2016 a man entered the hotel. I don't think you need to include 2016. It adds a date stamp to your story, which makes it ...
Oct 3, 2009 -
Re: The Hospital Story
Hey Serena, sorry it took me so long to get to this! ^^ I knew where I was at that moment, but I wasn’t sure how I had gotten there. ...
Oct 1, 2009 -
Re: A Dangerous Dream
Hey Zoe. ^_^ So, this was rather short, ya? I think a bit too short for us to get a real idea of what the story's like, or how well ...
Sep 29, 2009 -
Re: Hypnotic Bed Post (Enjoy!)
Hey Jon! So this is short and sweet, requires very little nitpicking. I felt a little underwhelmed with this, honestly. I think the subject matter-- dreams, nightmares, sleep --is so ...
Sep 27, 2009 -
Re: Nothing can be compared to you
Hey Pudin! ^^ Here as requested, forgive me for any delays. Nothing can be compared to you. Nothing in the masterpiece of this world can be compared to you. I ...
Sep 24, 2009 -
Re: Soul Sister Blues Remix, review ASAP, (English Class!)
Hey Skittles, here as requested. ^^ The other reviewers' points are valid, so fix those grammar issues and such. I may repeat something, because I didn't read all of them. ...
Sep 20, 2009 -
Re: .
Hey Sammim! (I'm calling you that because the site already has two Sams :P) I'm Evi. The Mississippi sun was beating down upon the world at the moment my life ...
Sep 18, 2009 -
Re: Fire-Safe: A Novel; ch.1 (PG-13)
Hey Sphinx, welcome to YWS. ^^ Congrats on your first posted piece! I'm Evi, here to review. :arrow: So, to start off with, I do quite like the first sentence. ...
Sep 18, 2009 -
Re: On music
Knightly Angel! ^^ Haven't reviewed anything of yours in a while, though I have read a lot of your poetry and come to the conclusion that I really love it. ...
Sep 13, 2009 -
Re: The Raffle
Hey Elinor. ^^ Hmm, yes, I agree with Rosey. You seem to have written this opening chapter just to get the plot and characters out there. There's nothing really wrong ...
Sep 12, 2009 -
Re: Forever with you
Hey Burgs, Evi here. ^^ Love the avatar, by the way. :P April stood at the edge of the bath. As far as first sentences go, this one doesn't offer ...
Sep 12, 2009 -
Re: My English Homework! Need a Review, STAT!
Hey Lilz, Evi here for an emergency attack. ^_^ Won't be long, really, just a couple of points. Every morning, the same terrible feeling of nausea had swept over her ...
Sep 9, 2009
