Evi

Hey Twit! Thanks for the request. :) I did read the first section, but my only comment, really, is to cut back on your use of names within dialogue. Observe ...

Welcome to YWS! ^_^ Evi here. Haven't read Scarless, so sorry for any confusion! But it wouldn’t be able to reach her anyway , the barrier above her kept the ...

It's been a while, eh? I'm rusty at my poetry crits...but I think I say that every time. Firstly, I'm not sure how to approach slam poetry differently from your ...

Hi cookEmonster! Have we met? If not, hi, I'm Evi. :D So, the first thing I'm going to tell you will be hard to hear: axe the first two paragraphs. ...

Hey Femme! I've Evi. ^_^ I haven't read the previous chapters, so this'll be focusing more on writing style and small-scale things. “Francesca! I’ve missed you,” I sighed into her ...

Hey germsie! ^_^ I'm Evi. Welcome to YWS! So, this story suffers from telling. What's bad about telling, you may ask? In fiction, 98% of the time, you want to ...

Hey Skittles! I feel like I've reviewed your work before, yes? She frowned in discontent Frowning people are generally discontent, so I think it's safe to say this is redundant. ...

At first I clicked on this because of the title without even realizing it was yours, because I just took a 180-question exam concentrating largely on conservation of mass and ...

Hey Spook! Pick a title, any title! Really, almost anything is better than Untitled. Call it World on Fire, as in your synopsis, or Heaven-Blessed, or Heaven-Sent. Anything! I have ...

Hey Blue Africa. :D This is going to sound disjointed, but bear with me. The part about him forgetting to take off his clothes before getting into the shower amused ...

I feel like this should be a poem. Not just because it's formatted in lines line one, but because it has none of the aspects of a story, even the ...

I'm going to jump right in, but I haven't read previous installments so my comments will be more about style than plot content! First of all, check the little button ...

Hey Vitamin Cakes! ^_^ Evi here! Matt and I sit around the fire that we started, the heltite, caused by various radioactive waste from the orbital bombarment made the fire ...

Here as requested, Ellie. :D For a school project, I'm sure this is fine, and I'm sure you'll get a decent grade on this. But as far as actual poetry ...

First of all, love the avvie! xD Kiki's Delivery Service was one of my favorite movies. I understand the message and emotion behind this, and I can definitely appreciate them. ...