nothing

I feel like this should be a poem. Not just because it's formatted in lines line one, but because it has none of the aspects of a story, even the shortest flash of fiction-- characters, plot, setting, sequence of event. It does, however, have the skeletons of a poem-- theme, mood, contemplation.

I feel like you make a broad jump after the line "HLMT"-- it becomes a different work. In fact, what this is missing overall is continuity. What is the point of this? What are you trying to say? The letters, numbers, and dates seem arbitrary, thrown in as examples for the sweeping thematic generalizations. The rearranged order of those five words is interesting, but again, it doesn't speak to us because it's out of context.

Honestly, I suggest you take these ideas, cup them in your hands, and shake vigorously. Then sprinkle them through something with substance-- an actual story with people and something happening, or a poem about scraps of seemingly unconnected things coming together. Because while some of these statements have the potential to make us think, when listed haphazardly like this we can glean very little from them.

Keep thinking, though! I see some great philosophical musings in your mind. PM me for anything.

~Evi

Very interesting......hmmmm