Evi

Aloha Drawers! Now, I know this was for a school assignment and has personal meaning, but I'm going to critique it as fiction since you posted it here. Luckily there ...

Hey EliteHusky, Evi here! So, this was pretty lukewarm. Firstly, it's hardly ever a good idea to start a story with a character waking up, because it's been done so ...

Hey Hibiscus. ^_^ I'm Evi. First of all, I'd reverse the title to Letting Go of You, for You , but that's a personal preference. This is a bit of ...

Sargsauce, you're good. You are seriously a freaking good writer. This was even better than the story I critiqued earlier, I think. And the fact that this is so good, ...

Hello Galerius, very nice to meet you. I'm Evi and I run to this poem full-speed while brandishing a pitchfork. I ...noose. This bothered me more the more I thought ...

Hello Wolfpaws! Welcome to YWS. :) Hopefully soon you'll feel comfortable enough with the site to offer some constructive criticism on other people's writings, yes? So! Before anything else, as ...

Aloha! Before anything, there is a typo in your title, which is a really bad place to have a typo. It should be Too soon . There are quite a ...

Hey blackbird! Because I'm a day late to review this, Jack has swooped in and really taken the words right out of my mouth. I don't have much else to ...

Hey, Tanya! Sorry this is so late-- I was out of town until yesterday. You've already gotten some helpful advice, so this won't be too long. (Although every time I ...

Hey Irish! I was surprised that this went for so long with only a single review. Just as a warning, I'm going to give an extensive line-by-line crit and then ...

Hello Navita! Glad I saw this before I left. It seems obvious to you that you should have changed before you came. No, too much to start with. An interesting ...

Hello, I'm Evi. I moved this to General Fiction Novels since you said this is the beginning of a novel, and not a short story. Does that make this a ...

Hey RR! I'm a bit confused-- is this supposed to replace the other chapter I read, the one in a spoiler, or is this a continuation? In the twenty years ...

Hey Tigereyes! Love the avatar. I used to be a hard-core Winnie the Pooh fan. ;) So, this was an entertaining read! I like the conflict that the narrator's facing, ...

Hello! It's me again. Sorry if some of my advice on the last chapter was repetitive with the other reviewers; Tatra snuck in and posted a critique while I was ...