Evi

Hey deelish! I peer down at the girl in the green coat and criticize her in my mind. After coming back to read this for a second time, I perplexed. ...

Hey Soulkana! I'll get to the Chapter One Rewrite, I promise, but it's easier for me to review something if it's posted on YWS. The beginning befuddles me bit. Is ...

Oh, Clo.

Hi Faery! I came into this being skeptical-- the first line struck me as a cliched opening --but you use some really beautiful images and phrases here. Occasionally, though, your ...

Hey Mirasol! Welcome to YWS! ^_^ I hope you've been enjoying the time you've been here. A smallthing about the beginning-- I find that starting a story off with a ...

Hey Soulkana! First of all, I know this is NaNo, so IGNORE THIS until after November! The important thing now is to just keep writing, so don't even think about ...

Hi Demoness! I was reading along, reading along...and then BAM, I hit the fourth stanza. This is where you start injecting some imagery into the piece, when your language becomes ...

Hey Kagi! Sorry this took so long...I've been swamped! I appreciate the request though. :D She's sucking all of it in and her cheeks pull in so tightly , her ...

Oh boy, this is late. O_o I don’t have time for that crap though. If we’re going to go out, I say we go out in style. We’re going to ...

Okay! I'm finally here! I apologize profusely for the delay. ^_^ “Here, I will put it in the loft. I have made a bed up. The lack of contractions here ...

Because of lateness, this is probably unhelpful. >_> I apologize. I read it earlier and it's clearly changed a lot, and I think I like this version better. Since it's ...

Sorry for the delay! I wasn't able to set aside time until Review day conveniently rolled around. :) Vast was short, even by my standards. Whoa! Where'd the "my" come ...

Might as well review this one too, eh? ;) First line: how does an inanimate object creak painfully ? Maybe it sounds painful to the human ears of your character, ...

Hey Mustard! Really nice sentiment going on here. I'll point out some small things-- The repeated "were you" threw me off, especially with only a comma between, and the two ...

Oh boy. Chapter 20. You've got some dedication! That's fabulous-- no amount of critiques can help you if you can't force yourself to just push on, so you're already on ...