Esmé

Format into paragraphs, proofread then I shall return. Just couldn't help myself. That was te first comment I ever got on YWS. Also from Phorcys :) As to your text ...

Yea, I agree with lampshade on the whole. This isnt my type of story, but I thought I'd read it - a good choice, lol. One comment though: You will ...

Okay, I'll be writing a critique as I read. ere it goes: quote: For all my life we had lived next to the strangest house that ever was. 'That ever ...

I saw that you have 0 comment and though I could give you a critique :) quote: He opened one eye and peaked at the clock 12:00 was flashing on ...

Before actually reading, I want to ask one question: Why didn't you format? And why do you not have spaces after commas? It's a bit hard to read when it's ...

I’m going to quote your mistakes as I read, sorry if I miss anything Quote: Tesla : did you realize it’s been seven year’s sense the war ended? ‘Did’ with ...

It seems that all the mistaked have been caught - I really have nothing to add, lol. I enjoyed reading this; it was an interesting piece of writing. I didn't ...

Personally I think that killing anothe rliving person is horrible. Hanging, the electric chair... I mean, we are killing a person who killed someone else! I understand that something should ...

Hi! I was browsing the forums and saw that you have no comment, so I though I would wright you a critique. (I can't give you much feedback on pokemon, ...

Yeah, I basically agree with everyone before me (though I see you've formatted - good). In the first paragraph, you have too many '...' The first one is ok, but ...

I think cadminium caught it all :) I have one comment though: try making more paragraphs (they are too long. Reread them and you will see that the beginning usually ...

Quote: Simon got home he noticed something was wrong. ‘When Simon (…)’ Quote: He went inside and grabbed the cordless phone stuck it in his pocket and headed off towards ...

QUote: It seemed that time slowed as the stumbled across Rockefeller Center, slow enough to grasp every horrific image and digest it until her pale cheeks were stained with tear. ...

I understand that this is after a correction? :) I would not like to just copy what Poor Imp said, lol. I'll be writing the comment as I read, but ...

It is a bit hard to give a comment on such a short piece of writing :) I liked the idea, but I think that you wrote this piece in ...