Emma

Hello, god I haven't commented on this site for about a year! This is actually pretty good, must agree it is incredibly simple, but since this is from a young ...

Why does this angsty, ridiculous, "I need a therapist" theme come up so frequently in teen writings? It's disgusting. The same story could have been told without the guy being ...

It feels quite rushed, yet its good. I feel it could use more description of how Charlie must feel being drunk. For example, how the world is perceived. Is it ...

They still call blacks "niggers" in today's world. It's pathetic. And yes, it does feel like more of a joke than a real story. It is short, but it gives ...

Scotland is even worse. Ohhh, the names we come up with for this one girl. It's a shame. But she's a hoe and deserves everything she gets. But personally I ...

Bleeding heart, you're 23... ANYWAY MOOSIEGIRL You rush straight into the story. You seem to give us no introduction. We are hit with these characters all of a sudden. Plus, ...

HINT: Instead of just telling people what happens; try telling them the way they did it, how they felt, what was going through their minds. E.g. "We all run away" ...

I've felt like that. Nice story. Is the story releated to real life or was it made up in your head? It was confusing at first, I didn't understand why ...

The ending was too quick. You went on about how the character loved their quilt and how the treasured it and then suddenly the mother says; “Honey, we left your ...

Hehe. That is pretty funny, it caught my attention with it being set in a world of your own. I wanted to learn more about it and I really wanted ...

Hehe. That was really funny. Though I would of thought if they realized it was all a hoax, people would be throwing eggs at his window. (e.g. teenagers who actually ...

Oh my god! That is very moving. This piece is amazing. I love everything about it and I was fully hooked on the whole thing. The ending was very sad ...

Oh that's really good! It does flow really nicely and has a nice feeling to it. I really wish I could say more but I think it's pretty good and ...

I really liked that. I was interested in what was going to happen next! And I know a Lewis! Who's... almost like that! Hehe... Anyway; I didn't find that Emily's ...

It's very sweet, but maybe a little confusing at the beginning. But I think you solved that nearer to the end. I did find it really sweet though, but I ...