Emerson

*moved to SciFi upon author's request* (If you would rather it be in Action/Adventure, just Pm me and I can move it again. :D)

I love the edit. It is so much more precise, and exact, and I can actually understand it now! And the theme stands out more. Correct me if I'm wrong: ...

one thing I'm having trouble with is that not only to me, but to people I've shown it to from other then this website understood it perfectly, the grammar is ...

Edited; please don't put caps in your subject title. ^_^

*moved to fanfiction*

I'm going to move this to should probably have been moved there long ago, haha. Oh well.

I've been looking for a good writing book for a while. See, that is the thing. This isn't a writing book like the general, "Learn how to write a novel ...

That sounds rather odd. How do you mean it goes into another scene? Well then you have one of three choices: A) write out the scene B) tell the scene ...

Yeah, it was my inspiration from a poor mid-dinner snack of toast!

I think I'll move this to Other Fiction, because poetry is more often than note in verse....and this is more like Fiction.

Sponson, please do not encourage them...? Don't argue or spam the persons threads over critiques. This is for critiques, not for comments on the critiques.

Just so you know, cinquains have such a bizarre style that they usually don't make good poetry. This is no exception... sorry.

Some of it doesn't make sense, and that is a really big problem. Also, punctuation is your friend! Otherwise... I'm not sure what to say.

I seem to have already said this... hmm. Please, do not use caps in title threads. It is bothersome, and unnecessary.

Thanks Areida! I have some Qs... and some answers as well! I'm going to eventually get around to editing the setting and adding more interaction and all that... I'm being ...