Emerson

Hullo there! Welcome to YWS. Additionally, I'm another one of your brother's far away friends. :P I have love for you too though, and not just by family relation. You ...

I really really like it because the lines sound incredebly beautiful and poetic, not exactly Death Cab themed but poetic like them none the less. I think my favorite verse ...

I adore this poem. Your imagery and diction are spot on. I also dislike this poem for several reasons. First of all, you have no punctuation, and that murders this. ...

Hey there! Armed to the hilt, I trigger a coin from my pocket Here you've got a mixed metaphor that really confused me. Armed to the hilt refers to a ...

Hello! The first thing I noticed when reading was that this has no punctuation! Some poems can get away without, but more often than not punctuating your poem is a ...

I shall be gentle, I promise! Or, at the least, one can hope helpful. ;-) Repetition: You repeat 3 lines 4 times, which means the you actually only have 19 ...

Hi there! I'm going to pick at some small things first because this is worth it. Perhaps it was the cracks in her lips that oozed pretty crimson, or [s]that[/s] ...

Hello Pen! My ugliness is honesty; Your prettiness a lie. Is there anyway you can get away from the -ness words? They sound gross. I love the meaning behind this ...

I concur regarding the last line. :) This is sort of Pygmalion, except without coming to life! What I love about this poem is how the statue is living, though ...

Hello there! Since this is your second poem, I have to ask, have you read poetry? I'm not assuming that you don't, don't take me wrong. :) Simply, I know ...

Hullo there! I've probably said this about some of your other poems, I'm not certain? I really only have one thing to point out: Show, don't tell! Since I believe ...

Hello and welcome to YWS! I know you joined in October, but since you have only one post I'm assuming you're still new. If you have any questions about the ...

Hey there! Welcome to the Young Writers Society! If you have any questions about the site, feel free to message me. I suggest you take a look at The Rules ...

Guessing by the repetitions of this poem I'm thinking that you mistook Lyric Poetry for Lyrics. Would you like me to move this to lyrics? Since this is in the ...

Two quick comments: 1. Capitalize the pronoun I. 2. Punctuate properly - it makes reading the poem easier. Other than that the major problem of this poem is that I ...