Emerson

I would really have liked to say it looked inviting, but i was not. but it was not. Also you said 'liked' which is past tense, so far you're writing ...

I'm not sure if you want this to be critiques, or you just want an opinion as suggestion by the poll. But I'll give the crit anyways ;-) A dull ...

But not Caroline, she new that the TV was still blaring when her father was asleep. As her father seemed to always knock himself out with the alcohol knew. Also, ...

It were ass if it were happening now as, typo. you should make it a rule to read over everything before posting several times so as to catch these sort ...

Though the actual story flew over my head (I'm bad with things that are deep like this) I thoroughly enjoyed it. Your voice and imagery is amazing. I loved the ...

He pointed to the pages scattered in front of my chest, and then my [b]pupils[b/] followed the change of course of his right index finger I had to comment on ...

oh! a love triangle! how great! I was quickly reminded that Cady was a straight [comma] stunning, single girl and in my jealousy I had to stop him from getting ...

large, luxury, wealthy house. I think you should take out 'wealthy' since its the same thing as 'luxury' and change luxury to luxurious. And so I filled the time with ...

wow, that was really good! was this the after gyrfalcons edits? I'm not sure what to point out as 'bad' I actually liked it a lot. There was one thing ...

Reading was for me, and people who tried and hid, I found it later. I don't follow this sentence... It's nice, I'm interested to see where you go with it ...

I agree it was rather short... I'm not sure what to say? It wasn't bad, but I think it read like a movie add, or a movie introduction. I think ...

His attention snapped to her ans I faded out. I'm surprised I made it home at all.......... The excess ellipsis, Though interesting, is very unneeded. Use a period ;-) It ...

I liked that a low, and though I'm bad at critiquing poetry, I thought it was very beautiful! It reminds me of my 8th grade year. I've always said to ...

LOet him take control. typo! My-name-is-Cady I'm not sure why you use dashes, but if its to give affect, the word 'hissed' does that for you so no need to ...

I'll back off on the grammar for now, you are fourteen :-D But the only grammar edit I have, is that when a new character speaks make a new paragraph, ...