Elizabeth

"And all the while i just am talking... " I just am... annoyed me. And you need to capitalize the I. "Get the attention all the time, it's turing into ...

AUGH! The rhyme meter went WAY AWAY from normal... it was 122 then it was 212??? i didn't really like it. I mean, no offense but it was too short ...

First off: Calm down. I liked this poem... it was nice and simple and it was pretty... and got to the point. Few errors as Xanthan and them said... but ...

No offense but: UUUUUUUGH. Why would you say bitch? It seems the character cared a lot to have called this other one a bitch. Selfish selfish... I already fixed one ...

Let's take it from the top! "The flame that surrounds me , like the fire in your eye" " Burns all around me [I wouldn't advise using me in this ...

This was too short lined for me, too choppy, too... Why? and How? And And! I mean, seriously, this would be a great story if you hadn't forced so many ...

'Heart beating crimson, scarlet, bloody, deep and raw and red" *Hurks!* So... much.... RED! THIS CREEPED ME OUT! Usually it takes a lot to do that but first I read ...

Three lines... barely any rhythm... barely any rhyme... Or forced rhyme.... Alright, there was some rhythm until this point: "a cat in a blunder makes an alliance, with the mouse." ...

Hmm.... You should really capitalize letters at the beginning of sentences, especially with the puncuation of periods.... but with a comma break you don't have to, understand? This sounds totally ...

I don't know why but I have the urge to say TOO MANY QUESTIONS! Honestly, in poems usually there are no questions or very little ones, and it's from the ...

LOved the first stanza in rhyme and rythm.... but then it came to this: "The words and phrases stab me hard, My throbbing heart starts to bleed." Didn't really rhyme, ...

"Iris is sitting there, waiting. Waiting for the skies to burst relentlessly upon her, to drown her, waiting for the wind spirits to engulf her, take her along with them." ...

It's annoying seeing that title of IT'S NOT GOOD READ ANYWAY because it doesn't want to be read then. You can leave little messages before or after the poem, not ...

I just sit there lokking longing At you just cos i want you. looking because I no using slang or shortening words. It's lazy. I didn't get this. The repitition ...

"Give it a life Breathe into it, life" Repitition. It has good potential but the repitition is.... *is scared*. "palate" I don't know if you spelt that right... but yeah, ...