Young Writers Society

I agree on the rhyme part is a little off. I like the message in the poem though.

When I first wrote this poem, it wasn't actually about writers. The second verse went like this:

We love violence, war but not prose,
So we could live in a world as perfect as it goes.

But then I thought that it didn't sound quite right. I'm really not sure what to do with it.

I have to agree with the others. It's not really the rhyme that gets me, but the lack of startling imagery. For example, I could write something like:

"Tears cascaded down her cheeks/Writing for a character, mild and meek."

I don't know...

But the imagery is kind of bare.

Play with it more. What do you think of writers? Instead of just trying to rhyme, make a list of qualities that you think of when you see the word "writers." This kind of poetry is called list poetry, and it can be really good if you organize it right.

Anyway, good luck!

It's not that I hate rhyme, it's just that your rhyme, as others said, isn't consistent. Also, you rhythm is very odd in the second stanza. Try to make if so that it can be read with flow.

Not that short poems are bad, but this poem seemed abrupt. You could have done many things with this. Talk about being a writer, the joys of it, the cravings, the desires. Add more imagery and passion into it, but don't forget about the flow. Hope this helps.

I think you should consider a more free verse type of poem. Your rhyming patterns are odd, the rhythm is extremely off...and you need to incorporate some more images or something touching.... Please, expand your poetic horizons further.

AUGH!
The rhyme meter went WAY AWAY from normal... it was 122 then it was 212???

i didn't really like it. I mean, no offense but it was too short to mean a thing and it was short.... and who is we?
Believe me, I am not much of a reader, it seems though you're assuming all writers are hardcore readers and such, when many readers aren't much of writers? (it's some geometry term)

But... the point of the story, which is important, wasn't really found here.
Add a ton more and I'll get back to you.