EliteHusky

Well said. blaming lack of sleep This is often the first explanation that often comes to mind when you experience study fatigue. You chose your words well and each one ...

Very interesting. The dialogue and descriptions carried me smoothly from beginning to end. My interest was drawn to what happened and the way you slowly revealed pieces of key information ...

She was my security, My love, my source of air. Perhaps "My love and source of air" although this is a minor suggestion. Her shell, now weak, Dissolved from her. ...

A Trojan Baby, perhaps. That made me smile. :) “Oh my God, are you okay, Sarah?” her sister asked. “Can you move? Are you hurt bad anywhere?” From a purely ...

Tim likes being decent with those jerks, he says that he doesn’t care for what they do and have no time to waste on them, in other words he never ...

“Indeed, I am. But may I know who you are and why do you seem so much interested in a kid?” I replied Unexpected reply for a kid, but okay ...

One challenge a writer often experiences when writing creative fiction or creative non-fiction, is the task of laying the basic setting - the foundation, for your story. As I read ...

Very interesting. I liked reading this because of the detail used. I also like ladybugs so that was another positive. :) Overall I feel as if you are dabbling in ...

Good start but here are some areas which need correcting. Morgan hated not coping work, but couldn't stand the disapproval of a teacher if she didn't have it done. Perhaps, ...

Short but smooth. No spelling errors, the poem made reasonable sense, and perhaps most importantly, the contents conformed to the title and you stayed on topic throughout. There is room ...

Good lines. The ending is very tragic however. Quick correction: that throbs at his sighr everyday. the "r" should be a "t" to complete sight. Mistakes like this are fairly ...

I found this very passionate. The title corresponded to the theme which I found to be extremely helpful. The language is short but sweet, and leaves you wanting a bit ...

Very interesting. The overall format of this story was quite new to me. I liked how you described the actions of Hanna's father after dialogue and how you made him ...

Firstly, let me say that I read your preface but continued reading anyway. I found the dialogue interesting to say the least. You obviously have an interest in writing and ...

Very well written and I believe in its potential to expand. Your transitions were done smoothly with excellent dialogue. Here is my favourite piece of dialogue which transcended the back-lit ...