Elelel

I thought it was dull as anything. :roll: Don't bother to spare her feelings or anything. Well I don't agree with Reichieru, so don't worry. You could probably do the ...

So hope the people that replied before enjoy it this time *pretends to be indignant* I said I enjoyed it before, didn't I? And I did. So there. *sticks out ...

Well, yes, you need to pace it out more. Add stuff like character development and so forth, everything seems really ... vague. Like there's no picture in your head as ...

NIce!!! Love-r-ly and nice. I like it. However ... "Oh no, oh no, oh no, its them, its the Careon, oh no," I wouldn't keep that as one long sentence. ...

Well, a good idea would be to say exactly what this person is being trained for. Because right now that's confusing a lot of people, and could easily be fixed. ...

Yes, I also liked it how it ended with her writing the first line in the book. I always love it when something like that happens. As for the rest, ...

Good Morgaine! It isn't much to critique properly, so I'll comment instead. You did well, it's always good to describe someone as they're doing something to keep the audience interested, ...

It touched me too Of course I walked away. How could I now. i don't know why others like me didn't. All I knew was that I couldn't just sit ...

Ok, first up ... No one believed that Parris had known what he was talking about (sometimes he hadn’t), but that was what they wanted to believe when they looked ...

Yes, of course we all love you, Fire. And finally! A section of the Sun Prophet that requires no privious reading! :D You lost me when I went on holiday. ...

That, and the typos. There are quite alot, and they're pretty obbvious. So you might want to go through and fix those up. Lucki;y they didn't see me. I knew ...

So I followed the troupe in the night, waiting for the moment to rescue my brother. I didn’t know that this adventure wouldn’t just shape the rest of his life, ...

I read it, but I have less than 44 seconds left in internet time, so I'll comment and edit tomorrow! (Loved it) [edit] ... or the next day ... parents! ...

I'm not so sure about flow, but I enjoyed this, I really did. :D I don't think it jumped around too much. I have seen the ways of the warrior ...

I did really like this. I've been in situations where I just wanted this person to show up, I'd made myself look the best I'd ever looked, I was practically ...