Elelel

Wow, that was beautiful . My fingers are bleeding, small, scarlet drips that fall onto the paper with a rhythmic pitter-patter and spread in tiny, spidery crimson branches from the ...

This is the first piece I've read in a while where I've had to really dig for errors ... and then I read through everyone elses critiques and they got ...

Yeah, it's good, very mysterious (but I'm not going to vote) and yes, you need to check over your grammer. I'll give you some of the grammer mistakes I spotted... ...

I'll critique your work, I'm sorry about snapping over your critique of Happy Lizards work. I'll try to make it up to you. My first response after reading this was, ...

Sister dearest, I have been awaiting this moment for a long time. *grins evily* Lakki ran. Nice start, well, I think so anyway. The wind whipped past her ears, blowing ...

Punctuation is your friend. () . , ? " " etc. etc. etc. Spell check too. Use that. Please, for the love of all that is holy. That was not ...

Yeah, add an age warning. Eek. I would NOT want my 11-year-old sister reading that... OMG!!! My sister too!!! She's a member and she's only 11 ... Thank you for ...

Yes, it's very interesting. I liked it myself, but it does need 'fleshing out' as Jack so charmingly put it, after the nature of the story. I don't think there's ...

*cracks fingers* Right. First, I'm going to be nit-picky, so don't take it personnally. Secondly, I might not finish all this now, if not I'll come back tomorrow and pick ...

Do you want me to be harsh, or nice and gentle? Answer in the next two and a half seconds or I go harsh ... no answer? *grins evily* Harsh ...

Your dialogue is getting heaps better! :D Still needs a little more practice to make it sound completely natural, but it's coming along nicely. But I'd have to also say ...

FINALLY got round to looking at thins. Stupid internet time limit. *mutters to self* Ahem. Excuse me and ignore my mutterings. For an instant, he thought, That is the most ...

The thing to remember on paragraphs is that each one is a new ... idea, if that makes sense. A new something. The trick to believable sounding dialogue is to ...

It read really well, flowed smoothly and everything. And everone acted as they would in real life. Really well done! I can't wait to read more either. But yes, describe ...

Yes, there are some typos there, nothing that's too hard to fix. I was wondering, is this part of a story? I'm not sure I read the first bit (or ...