DottieSnark

You have a really interesting premise, and I know this is just the start of your idea, but if you flesh this out it could be really something. One thing ...

Hi! So I've only read this chapter, but I think you really have something great here. First of all, you write some amazing imagery. This couple of lines really painted ...

I can see that your writing is already improving a lot. I've noticed you'd added some more paragraphs than usually, but they're still really long. A good aiming area for ...

I feel a little weird about reviewing someone's diary entry, and I wasn't sure what you wanted me to review, so I'll try to hit a little of everything. First ...

Full disclosure, I haven't read the rest of your story. I can tell you have done a ton of worldbuilding. There is so much information. And worldbuilding is a great ...

Okay, I have to admit I'm a little confused right now. Maybe I misread something last chapter, but I thought your character had found someone in the mirror, but it's ...

Hi there! I saw your chapter two get uploaded to the green room and thought, hey, why not give chapter one a try too? So the structure you've set up ...

So I haven't read any of the previous chapters, but I was still able to follow along with this story. When I first started reading my impression was that your ...

This chapter was actually quite terrifying. You painted a picture with your words of a scary, sterile room and a terrified child. You're first few paragraphs really showcase Elena's terror. ...

You have created a very interesting and vivid sci-fi setting. In fact, your description of the setting, the objects, and the action are probably your strongest strength. I can picture ...