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Awww! She laughs and it's like a spoon stirring in a teacup, a quiet tinkle I just love love this line. She pulls the firebreathing noodle-looking-thing away from her mouth ...

Interesting start! I am sure there are some grammatical problems, but I am not the best with grammar myself, so I will focus on the story. His voice is high ...

I regret the day I met him(you don't need the comma) because the day I met him is the same day joy exited my life. He was charming at first. ...

First, I like the names a lot including Juno's middle name. Juno Blackwood just sounds cool and Margo is not bad either. The dark floorboards creaked like an old woman’s ...

The Dimly lit light bulb flickers and adds to the tension Suggestion: The dim light flickers... The family dog Bobo will not quit barking, the cows are distressed, and it ...

Aww! This is such a sweet poem. Even though its tone/speaker is regretful, I just find it kind of heartwarming how much the speaker wishes they could be together again. ...

I absolutely adore the countdown concept because it creates anticipation/interest like no one’s business. I thought it was a countdown to death or the end of the world, but it ...

Casey’s First Game: Casey realised she'd been holding her breath and exhaled. When she inhaled, she took in virtual air. I like this line. As of now, I understand everything ...

“Where are you going, my son?” asked the mother with a tone of amusement. “I’m going all around the world! And I’ll fly you all over, mommy,” replied the young ...

Rose petals dance across the wind, the light shines upon the gold. Pretty description. But, I wonder where the narrator is that there is gold. Always my life has been ...

I could hear the growl of distant beast, I could hear a march so powerful that I could feel it through the tree we were standing on, a rain of ...

Well, this is the first story on YWS that I have where the audience is the character! It reminds me of those choose your own adventure stories. Anyway... You run ...

Well, this was a unique start for sure. While the actual holiday was, of course, Friday, we couldn't pass up the opportunity to celebrate. You need a comma after "was" ...

Queen Silvia was sitting in her throne looking out at the harsh weather. Suggestion: "Queen Silvia sat on her throne, looking at the harsh weather." Silverblade came into the big ...

Now that all of that boring socializing is out of the way Suggestion: "Now that all that boring socialization is out of the way.." It just looks visually better not ...