Rose petals dance across the wind, the light shines upon the gold. Always my life has been despair, laden with a fire but also a chill. I am not a good man, this I know. I am no poet, no man, no boy, no human. I am not a monster, nor a demon, I am broken. These are my thoughts, not a poem. These are my emotions, not a story. I struggle to know who I am, I feel alive and filled with emotion, yet dead and empty at night. I struggle to understand who I am, I want to be more. I can't be more, I don't know how, I need help, but I won't accept it. I cannot fix myself in the slightest, I need a guiding hand. I am not independent, I cannot function. I need someone close to my heart, yet despise the world and its people. Music, a simple solace, cannot take away the emotion that ripples through my body. I am a machine, I am a human, yet in both states I remain broken. I don't know who I am, I need someone to tell me, but I can't accept that answer. I am a hero in my mind, a devil in life. My life conflicts itself, I am both a good and a bad person, I am an introvert who needs company. I need a place to call home, I want to see the stars more than before. I wish for my death to come soon, I want to touch the sky alone. I am a husk of a human, I am a soulless child. I need some air. I need to be near everyone, yet removed from them. I long to sit on a tall building in a busy city, staring at the stars at night. I want to feel joy, but I also want to feel anguish. I am a symbol of imbalance. I cannot stay in one place, I need to be free, flowing like a river. My name, it does not matter, it's a silly thing, I want to be someone else. I want to have all the time in the world to do whatever I want, I want the freedom to do what I want. I want to fly through the sky, wind against my face. I want to fall asleep under the cherry tree, petals brushing my face. I want to sit in the rain with someone to talk to, I want so much, yet shall receive so little. I am no one, I do not exist. Infinity waits for No One. I see this now. My name, does not matter, this is true, yet shared it shall be. Format means nothing here, nor on my life. I see no end to my suffering.
I am Infinity, and I wait for No One. I am the one named Caleb, such a trivial name. I don't know what I'd go by without it, but at the same time I dislike it. I am pain and anger, but only to myself. I am tired and worn. I am Infinity.