Deanie

Hi Hopeless, Finally I have reached what you asked me to review. It was another great chapter and I like how we get a bit of history in here. A ...

Hi there Hopeless, Another intriguing chapter. I like where this story is going, and I am definitely interesting in knowing more about the school and how it works. You have ...

These chapters are just getting better. I am only going to leave a brief comment this time. "It had mottled green skin, with veins running up and down the parts ...

Hey Hopeless, Nice second chapter! I'm going to jump right in and hit with the small mistakes I've seen already. "and arm...?" I think you meant an arm. "was that," ...

Hi Hopeless, I'm just leave a quick comment. I liked the music, because it gave the whole chapter a daunting feeling, and as I was reading I felt like I ...

Hey Scarli~ Here comes that awaited review! I'm basically going to sum up the first part as well, seeing as I just read both. I really liked the whole idea ...

Hi there, I agree with VeerenVKS. Nothing is too long for YWS. Maybe you should've posted it into two short story parts? It would fit then, and more people might ...

Hi BadNarrator, I think it's amazing that you can remember your dreams long enough to write them down - and in such avid detail as well! It's brilliant. This is ...

Hi Lily! This a great story with a brilliant idea! Nice and original ;) But be careful with having such a long post. Maybe post each chapter as it's own ...

Hi Lizzie, Yeah, I'm mostly with Disk Elemental. I'm not really sure what you want. It wasn't particularly interesting. It was more like a piece of writing, but not about ...

Hi there Shiksha, I'm here to review your essay. I always find it different reviewing essays on YWS because they are different from our expected essays at school! But I ...

Final chapter has been reached! Well, it's all coming together. Again, I must mention the brilliant ending to the chapter. I want to know more about Charlie and Jay now! ...

Back again, Andrea! I hope all these reviews are useful! I've noticed how well you end your chapters. You end them at the perfect moment or with the perfect sentence ...

Hi there Andrea, You've gotten pretty good feedback from Tenyo already. I agree that reading other works with a similar genre to yours will benefit your technique greatly :) Once ...

Hi Andrea! I came back for more of course. I'm liking where this story is going. I'm not sure how I feel about that Danny episode. It seemed like a ...