ChurlishLassy

have you seen ten things I hate about you? 'fraid it has been done before.

Probibly the only funny thing i have read on did site, yaya you!

I liked the ryhme s-keme-a but snoink is right, it is a bit awkward, the subject seems to be here and there.

I started out reading it and thought, Okay a love poem, but was then thrown so competly off I had to begin again. You might mean it to be like ...

Somewhere a child is quietly born, While a group of nurses Sift through death certificates With deafening laughter. . I really love the contrast here, birth quiet, laughter loud.

it starts out sounding like a poem, but then begins to sound more like a not-poem, not sure what I mean but, I am very picky in good poetry. Sorry.

I really liked the way you named the historical figures, it made it seem more real. Instead of just someone did something. Interesting to see human evolution.

Anyone who liked it read, The Dogs of Babel. Cult involved.

I like the way you used a commonplace object in a poetic way. I think this would sound really good as a song.

All excellent suggestions! Great feedback, makes me want to continue to try poetry. I corrected it :D I REALLY appreciate it. I think it is really cool you at first ...

Good idea, but it could be much more powerful.

How about Boy Meets Wolf she is a werewolf right?

Interesting concept. The end sure suprised me. I expected her to die and then the leader to basically implie "we shall never speak of this incident again."

An interesting choice of topic. I think you could make it more passionateand instead of fighting for food say how you the character robbed a comrade's dead body of food, ...

[quote="Wesley"] Mom: Remember jimmy if you love the laundry the laundry will love you back. quote] I love it! Of course you need to add commas here and there and ...