Published November 2, 2007
I am one of the people in this poem, I just noticed that o.0 See if you can guess who...
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All things are painted rainbow,
though some might be blind;
They don't see the tinted glow
that others learned in time.
They paint with broad grins
and brush in broad black,
never so looking back.
They keep on painting, happily,
those who never tasted strife.
But they would grow ever so quickly
and feel the shades of life.
For when they have succeeded
just to be defeated,
For when they were waiting
in a lonely road at night,
For when they have searched
but there was nothing to find,
they would learn;
They won't be blind.
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I liked the ryhme s-keme-a but snoink is right, it is a bit awkward, the subject seems to be here and there.
Oooooh... I love the idea. Anything with colors makes me happy! I just love using symbolism and stuff for colors.
My favorite part has to be this line, "They paint with broad grins/and brush in broad black." Though the rest of the stanza is a little bit too "ack-y" for me. XD
A suggestion! You have two main ideas going on here -- blindness and color. And how color can be seen, if you aren't blind. These topics sort of go with each other, but for some reason, it looks a little awkward in this poem. So think about what you want to say and say it! Because right now, it looks like you're tripping on your feet.
Still! Nice colors!