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Re: September the 6th, 2001
This was a unique point of view I wasn't expecting, but it worked! It didn't occur to me from the title what this would be about, but I started making ...
Jun 3, 2007 -
Re: What Was I Thinking Again?
I really enjoyed this. Your style was amazing plus you had the cynical voice going as well. I think this was the perfect length for this type of piece: longer ...
Jun 3, 2007 -
Re: what are we here for
This doesn't really fit in this forum: the literary forums are for short stories, novels, plays, and poems. Right now, this seems more like an idea: perhaps you could develop ...
Jun 3, 2007 -
Re: One Fall
First of all, nice work! You did a nice job working with such a small amount of words, and I liked that there weren't really any huge info dumps. It ...
Jun 3, 2007 -
Re: Phantom of the Opera?
Isn't the whole Opera Ghost thing something that actually happened, though? That's the idea I got from the beginning of the book, but what you said, Broken Sword, is making ...
Apr 30, 2007 -
Re: A Prologue
Sorry ahead of time if I repeat anything that's already been said! The day of Announcement had finally arrived. You might consider capitalizing The Day of Announcement if it's a ...
Apr 18, 2007 -
Re: Lord of the Flies
I read it last year on my own and this year in class: I found I liked the book a lot better on the second reading. Either way, it's very ...
Apr 18, 2007 -
Re: Hourglass No.1
I really enjoyed reading this--I was hooked right away, and I definitely was interested throughout the entire thing. And of course, there were no spelling/grammar errors; a nice breath of ...
Mar 17, 2007 -
Re: Yin Yang
I really enjoyed this: you captured the moment really well, like a snapshot in time. My biggest suggestion, besides a few grammar mistakes below, is to make sure you're showing, ...
Mar 17, 2007 -
Re: Chicken Little
Just was once your typical, ordinary teenage boy Just? Did you mean "Jude"? He has his click of friends, You changed tenses in this sentence (had), and I think it's ...
Mar 17, 2007 -
Re: The Swamp
Your description is superb; I can definitely picture this scene. I think you should add more background on the man, mostly because I'm confused about where and why he lives ...
Mar 17, 2007 -
Re: It won't kill anyone
To echo everyone else, I like the idea behind this, of everything being related and intertwined! Of coarse, there were rumours that it was another terrorist attack, but these were ...
Mar 17, 2007 -
Re: Looking for an Idea – 1/16/01
a clean sheet of paper, and a clean space to write in. Once I looked down at my clean piece of paper, I knew what I forgot; an idea. Clean, ...
Jan 23, 2007 -
Re: Sisters
" Your late! You're late, because the contraction "you're" is short for "you are". A cloaked figure scurried into the small hut from the snow and winds outside. The figure ...
Jan 22, 2007 -
Re: This Piano Is Not For Sale
I can't crit poetry for beans, but I'll tell you the parts I liked. :D These were my favorite lines: I’m a little rusty, but so is the piano. And ...
Jan 16, 2007
