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Re: maybe goodbyes or run-on sentences
alliyah, this poem is a delight! It beautifully illustrates a kind of anxiety about feelings and doing things wrong, which I hard relate to. Thank you for sharing it! I ...
Aug 23, 2018 -
Re: Slate and Earth Chapter 5.1
Woah, suddenly weeks happened! The time jump at the start here threw me a bit, after the slower pace of the earlier chapters. (But that might be less the case ...
Jul 31, 2018 -
Re: Anxiety
Hi BiruKun! This is a highly relatable poem you've got here - I think a whole load of people can relate to trying to hide their feelings for fear of ...
Jul 26, 2018 -
Re: The XT note collection-Carnixia
Hi Katnes! Since you've specifically asked about comma placement and spelling, that's what I'll be focusing on for this review. This is probably going to be easiest if I just ...
Jul 26, 2018 -
Re: anger
Hi Kate! Welcome to YWS - I hope you're enjoying the site so far :) In this piece, you're using a very clear metaphor for anger (fire!) - you get ...
Jul 25, 2018 -
Re: Slate and Earth Chapter 4.2
Hi Lauren! It's me, your thoroughly intermittent reviewer, here to continue enthusing about this story and how I'm super into it and looking forward to next week already! You're continuing ...
Jul 25, 2018 -
Re: Slate and Earth Chapter 2
Okay, yep, this story continues in excellence! I didn't comment on part 1, but I love the poetic narration style you're using (and I love spotting bits and pieces from ...
Jul 14, 2018 -
Re: Whims of Mortality - Part I
Hi Hattable! Let's dive straight in... First up: very cool premise! What I'm seeing here is a bunch of immortal characters who've worked out that they're immortal, and reacted to ...
May 16, 2018 -
Re: Working with the Enemy
Hi, Banana! Before I get going, I see you're quite new to YWS, so I just wanna say, welcome! I hope you're enjoying the site so far! I have to ...
May 16, 2018 -
Re: Wings
Hi Jevan! I see you joined recently, so before I get on with this review, welcome to YWS! I hope you're liking it here so far. You've chosen a cool ...
May 16, 2018 -
Re: Of Chickens in Italy
Hi Baezel! Thanks for posting this essay - I hadn't heard of Rita Levi-Montalcini before, and it was very interesting to read a bit about her life and work. This ...
May 15, 2018 -
Re: the season of thunderstorms.
Hi fukase, This is an interesting poem! Thunderstorms are a great metaphor to play around with, and you've got some lovely lines in here. A couple of my favourite bits ...
May 15, 2018 -
Re: Greeting Birthday From Him
Hi pricklyash! This is quite a sweet, short piece. I definitely get a good sense of the feelings you're aiming to get across with this - namely, grief for a ...
May 15, 2018 -
Re: Next Summer
Hey Stella! Congrats on your first #outsideyourcomfortzone piece! I think this is really well done. The description of the heat at the start is incredible. The lines about your lungs ...
May 14, 2018 -
Re: a cup full of regret
Hi manilla! Cadi here, for a review. To start off with: I really like the metaphor you're using here, and all the various images you tie in with it - ...
Apr 28, 2018
